Funnily enough, if anyone's made him feel like an attack dog, Zemo is one of the last people on his mind. The Wakandans can do no wrong in his book, but they've made him feel more like a weaponisable object than Zemo has. He doesn't think he deserves his happily ever after just yet, but when the time comes, he's pretty sure solitude is what he would want.
"This is my proper life," Bucky insists. He's not sure that Zemo can see that, when he's living in all these hypotheticals, where this is just a temporary thing that he's expecting to be zapped from at any moment. It's not like Bucky doesn't spend his time here thinking he's going to wake up in a cryo chamber any minute now and this was all just an elaborate dream from time to time. That still doesn't stop him from putting in the effort, trying his best to make the most out of what he can.
"I can't make him stop worrying about you. But I don't want him to be alone, either. He's lost everything too." He's not saying this because he thinks he owes Zemo anything or because he's obligated to take care of Oeznik. He just wants to. Just like he wants to live this life, and not some fantasy Zemo made up about that retired assassin life running around in New York City doing-- what, exactly? A 9 to 5 job, finding another wife, arguing over takeout expenses?
"I've thought about dying, a lot of times." Sometimes multiple times in the same day, even if he doesn't say it aloud. "Whatever people say about the easy way out, what people deserve and all that, I don't know anything about it. All I know is, I don't want to do that anymore. A name in the book is just unfinished business, that's all." And, honestly, Bucky doesn't know how this particular business is going to finish. It's certainly put him in positions he couldn't imagine himself ever being in.
"I don't know if things are supposed to turn out this way. But I think we're doing better today than we were yesterday, and maybe that's all it is. At least, I know you want to be three steps ahead, but. Doing better today is enough for me..."
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"This is my proper life," Bucky insists. He's not sure that Zemo can see that, when he's living in all these hypotheticals, where this is just a temporary thing that he's expecting to be zapped from at any moment. It's not like Bucky doesn't spend his time here thinking he's going to wake up in a cryo chamber any minute now and this was all just an elaborate dream from time to time. That still doesn't stop him from putting in the effort, trying his best to make the most out of what he can.
"I can't make him stop worrying about you. But I don't want him to be alone, either. He's lost everything too." He's not saying this because he thinks he owes Zemo anything or because he's obligated to take care of Oeznik. He just wants to. Just like he wants to live this life, and not some fantasy Zemo made up about that retired assassin life running around in New York City doing-- what, exactly? A 9 to 5 job, finding another wife, arguing over takeout expenses?
"I've thought about dying, a lot of times." Sometimes multiple times in the same day, even if he doesn't say it aloud. "Whatever people say about the easy way out, what people deserve and all that, I don't know anything about it. All I know is, I don't want to do that anymore. A name in the book is just unfinished business, that's all." And, honestly, Bucky doesn't know how this particular business is going to finish. It's certainly put him in positions he couldn't imagine himself ever being in.
"I don't know if things are supposed to turn out this way. But I think we're doing better today than we were yesterday, and maybe that's all it is. At least, I know you want to be three steps ahead, but. Doing better today is enough for me..."