experienceandpatience

There's a bit of a smile at the insistence, Zemo's eyes darting from watches to Bucky soon after. "Worried I may purchase the entire store or that you may lose sight of me?"

Not that Zemo seems particularly bothered by that. Possibly a bit bothered by the insistence that his cheap watch is fine. Clicky phones and cheap watches... They are quite opposites at times.

"Of course." There's a pause when Bucky fumbles over his words, lips curling up in amusement. "You look almost faint, James. Are you well?"

"I'm not worried." Who said he was worried? Is it the furrow of his eyebrows or the glaring at the manager who's trying to flirt with Zemo or the regular checking of the security guard posted out front?

"These watches seem complicated," is all Bucky is going to say. At two hundred thousand dollars it can't not be complicated. He's not even sure if a vibranium watch that can microwave frozen dinners and track asteroids would cost two hundred thousand dollars.

He's a bit reluctant to touch anything or offer any advice when it comes to which of the narrowed down list Zemo should go for. They're probably not all the price of a house each but even at a tenth of a house, that's ridiculously indulgent. He doesn't have a preference either way as long as they can tell the time reliably.

Under any other circumstance, there might have been a bit of amusement in Bucky's annoyance over someone trying to flirt -- it's all very harmless after all. As it is, there's a reassuring squeeze to Bucky's arm as he returns his attention to the watches.

He's very tempted by that watch, but in the end he goes for a bit more reasonably priced Jaeger LeCoultre Grande Reverso. Isn't fifty thousand a bit more conservative? And then they're being ushered over to see some of the men's watches after Zemo teasingly mentioned to Bucky a Rolex may put him on his-- father-in-law's good side. More normal than a butler and there's something amusing in the reaction the salesperson gives.

But Zemo will make the choice for him -- something he thinks Oeznik will appreciate and wear. He does deserve to be spoiled a bit after all -- he's had almost as much excitement as Zemo and Bucky lately.

They'll be out of there soon enough before it stresses Bucky out too much -- hopefully at least.

Despite the brief stint he's spent in Brooklyn, Bucky hasn't actually been socialised enough to realise that a bit of friendly back and forth and harmless flirting is very normal when buying all sorts of things from clothes to breakfasts to cars and what-have-you. The one time someone had tried it on him, he ended up toppling over the mannequin they were standing next to and making things horribly awkward. Thankfully there weren't any damages needed to be paid then. He's not sure he can afford any damages in this shop right now.

Fifty thousand dollars is not reasonably priced. Bucky's trying to fit in with his permanent scowl even though Zemo can see the internal balking plain as day.

"Right. Um. Dad..." Bucky averts his gaze and lets Zemo pick out a nice Rolex, trying to remember if Oeznik wears fancy watches. He remembers seeing a watch on that wrist but he wouldn't have known if it was a normal watch or one of these house downpayments of a watch. It's all too rich for his blood - that is, until his eyes get drawn to a blue Omega Seamaster watch that's next to the James Bond and the Olympics and the whatever ranges they have on offer. Blue leather strap, blue watch face, blue everything, and not just blue but a deep, dark, rich shade of phthalo blue that would have matched Steve's outfit.

A part of Bucky will always miss him. But a part of Zemo must feel like he inherited this wreckage of a man that was Zola and Steve and Shuri and Sam's unfinished, abandoned project. And he just has to make do with this omelette that's been half-forged in the fire but missing the salt and the mushrooms, the bacon and the chives, and all the other good stuff to make a decent omelette and probably should have been scrambled in the first place.

"It's very nice," Zemo comments, eyes trailing to the watch Bucky has fixated on. He leans in until his shoulder is nudging against Bucky's to gently draw his attention back. He can-- imagine why Bucky is transfixed on that particular shade of blue. He's not foolish.

Although he hardly feels like Bucky is all that terrible. If he'd been such a wreck beyond salvaging, he'd never have wanted to put a ring on his finger, nor would he be out on the closest thing they've had to normal couples' activities in... possibly ever. "We'll take this one as well, I think."

Whether Bucky puts up a token protest or not, Zemo would rather he have a nice thing... something meaningful.

And there -- they all three have new watches and Zemo can't deny he's feeling rather good about it, or better about things in general the more he gets used to the strangeness of it all.

Bucky's idea of a protest is one of those noises that basically everyone ignores while they box everything up in boxes that Bucky didn't know could ever be that fancy and hand off a small paper bag to Zemo. Is that going to stop him from lying on the floor under the cat tree holding the watch up holding the ends of the straps in his hands turning the watch over for hours while he thinks about those good old days while other-Steve snoozes in the fake foliage with a paw sticking out the platform? Probably not.

"What's with you and watches anyway?" Bucky asks after they've left the watch shop for a couple minutes. "Why do you need more than one?" Is it one of those 1%er club hobbies? Or is Zemo just going to ask him what is it with Bucky and knives anyway? That feels a little different though - they're cheaper and disposable and he doesn't bother taking them back when he throws them at assholes.

"I suppose the same reason my wife enjoyed jewelry or you enjoy your knives. I like them, and they're not all the same. It makes collecting them appealing." He gives a shrug of his shoulders as he takes the bag and ushers them out of the store, giving a thoughtful hum as he debates where to take them next.

The mobile store seems like the best idea right now. "I think after we have replaced your phone, we are finished here... unless there's something else you would like to look at?"

"Yeah but I could carry twenty knives on me and I might come limping back with only two knives left. You can't wear twenty watches." He doesn't actually carry twenty knives on him, even on a tough mission, but Zemo can bet that he's got at least two on him right now, and Zemo can reliably always joke if that's his favourite knife or if Bucky is just happy to see him. The only time he's really unarmed is on the floor, or in bed, with no compartments in his boxer briefs to hide anything.

They turn around the corner to the mobile store and it's brightly lit, spacious, substantially more crowded than the watch store, and there's basically a hundred different smartphones with only two options for the type Bucky would actually use which would make it straightforward and easier to just beeline to the counter, point at one and leave in five minutes.

"I think this is it, yeah. Unless you want to get supplies for the movie later."

"Well, not at once." But he can certainly wear a watch that matches his outfit or the occasion without any trouble. He doesn't always wear the same one every day -- not like someone.

"I suppose we could grab a blanket. It may get cold..." There will be questionable food available at the concession stand to be sure, but a snack or two couldn't hurt either, he supposes.

Edited 2022-02-21 03:54 (UTC)

That's why you get a black one, Zemo. You can wear it for any occasion at any summer garden gala or when you've got a fist in someone's ribcage. Would you go on a mission with a fifty thousand dollar watch?

"Are you cold?" he asks, pressing the back of his flesh hand against Zemo's forearm. Did he get a jacket? Bucky didn't exactly go through the clothes shopping.

"We can get something warm. Anyway there's no blanket for the couch..." Or a throw, or whatever it's called. Probably because they're trying to discourage Bucky from sleeping anywhere other than an actual, proper bed...

Well, sometimes you end up wearing the fifty thousand dollar watch when it's necessary to have your hands bloodied up, but it's usually not quite the plan for the evening... and in any case, having only one watch is rather boring. Bucky needs to learn to appreciate accessories at some point.

Maybe his new watch will encourage that, but Zemo doubts it.

The brush of a hand across his arm has him pausing and giving a bit of a smile. "I'm fine at the moment, James."

And in any case, he does have a jacket but-- it's much more appealing to siphon Bucky's heat at the moment. Perfectly done with a throw around them while they park. "By design. I do prefer seeing you in my bed than on the couch..."

He pauses. "Our bed now, I suppose. But I suppose as long as you promise to make it there some nights, a throw for the couch is fine..."

That would be just as bad as getting blood on the shield. There's no way Bucky's wearing that watch while intentionally trying to hurt somebody.

There's one of those Bed Bath and Whatever places on their way towards the exit, so they can stop by and pick up a chunky knit throw, or whatever catches Zemo's fancy. The place smells like vanilla candles if vanilla candles were a $4 bottle of perfume and somebody sprayed half a bottle of it everywhere, so Bucky wrinkles his nose and tries to keep his eyes from watering as he suffers through the store.

"Our bed..." That sounds a little weird. But it is, their bed. They're supposed to share things now. And he feels obligated to show up every night now, not just. Some nights. That's going to be a challenge. He can promise to be in the room, but he can't reliably get enough sleep on a bed every night just yet.

And then it starts to dawn on Bucky that there's going to be an our almost-everything. Something that Zemo's probably already thought about and dealt with, but of course, Bucky is always late on the uptake. Is he ready for that? He doesn't mind sharing what worldly possessions he doesn't have, but. Does he have to tell Zemo everything now? Are they supposed to--... plan things together?

Zemo browses with a sort of interest that has him pausing to sniff at a candle or two before he finds the throws and decides on just the one he likes. He can't quite help but notice the way Bucky seems to go quiet after the our bed remark rather than come back with anything.

"Is everything okay, James?" He ventures after a moment, casual as he's capable of being. All of this is quite an adjustment, to both of them. Trying to figure out how to proceed from here, what to do next...

"...yeah. Yeah. Everything's fine." He'll just. Quietly have a meltdown on his own later at some point, out of sight from Zemo and hopefully Oeznik although he doesn't know how Oeznik always knows where he is at all times, when to get him, how to talk to him. Or not talk, as the case might be. He's had a couple of conversations with Oeznik already where they haven't exchanged a single word. Maybe it's no less patronising to be given a barren Christmas tree to decorate than it is to be given a colouring book but Oeznik's always looked out for him in his own way. Especially when it became apparent that Zemo wasn't going to heed his advice...

"This place smells funny." He's eager to leave once Zemo has picked out the throw. If they come across snacks on the way out, Bucky will buy some caramel popcorn or he might be drawn to the more unorthodox moose jerky. Otherwise he will just slink back to the car and not-think about this whole... marriage thing.

He's still determined to see this through between them. Whatever 'this' is. He's just maybe overthinking two or three details in the fine print.

There's a skeptical look for a moment. Zemo isn't so certain he buys that everything is fine, but it's probably not the best time to press. They don't want to be that couple after all -- having some sort of meltdown by throws. Instead, they finish with a blanket and a few snacks on the way out and Zemo starts back towards the exit.

"It smells nice, James." It's not quite funny, in Zemo's opinion.

He nudges at Bucky on the way out, giving a bit of a smile. Something quiet, reassuring... hopefully. Was it the comment about it being their bed that set Bucky off? The prospect of having to come to it? He thinks he has a rather-- good idea.

"Anywhere else we need to go before the movie?"

They would be the most normal couple if they started fighting standing next to the stacks and stacks of throws.

"No." Bucky manages a smile back and manages to not make it look like he's being held at gunpoint before taking the bag with the throw from Zemo. He's carrying enough as it is with the snacks and the watches.

"Let's go." Back down to the carpark. Usually Zemo knows when to ask and when to use silence, and when it's quiet all the way back and they're seated in the car again, cat tree in the boot and snacks on the back seat, Bucky reaches for the throw and unbags it, placing it on Zemo's lap in case he gets cold.

"I wasn't um..." Bucky starts, and he gives the gear stick an almost lewd kind of gentle teasing light touching handjob while he tries to gather his thoughts and turn them into words.

"I'm not sure. If I would-- make a good. Thing. Person. To spend... or. Share. your life with. I mean I--" The tension creeps into his shoulders and he tips his head towards the steering wheel, letting his gaze trail away.

"I would be here. As long as you want me to. I'm just. Not-- sure you can lean on me. In that way." That... Husbandly way, you know. "And not be let down."

Well. Bucky's not as bad at this talking thing as they might have initially thought. He's even worse.

Well, isn't that progress? Bucky is willingly talking without Zemo doing any digging until he snaps or doing all the talking for them both. He's quiet, actually, letting Bucky take his time to form his own words, to speak without interruption.

He tilts his head in that familiar way though, eyes lingering on Bucky as he reaches out to rest a hand against Bucky's lightly. "Isn't that what we've been doing, James? Sharing our lives, depending on each other?"

It seems that way to him at least. "I'm not asking you to do anything you're not comfortable with..."

And it doesn't-- sound like Bucky is all that comfortable, all of a sudden. After all those very sweet promises earlier too. Zemo goes quiet for a moment, dropping his hand away to give Bucky space. "Nothing will ease that void where my wife and son were. I think I will always feel that loss. It's-- how I imagine losing a limb would be... at times, I wake in the mornings and for a brief second, forget that they're not there. That it wasn't simply a nightmare."

But that said-- "I never planned on-- any of this happening between us, but lately, I have been closer to happy than I have been in a very long time. If not happy, then... content, perhaps. It hasn't been counting down the days, hours, minutes until I can rejoin my lost family as it has been in the past. For any frustration we've had with one another, or any problem, I can't say I've been let down so far. As a matter of fact, I'm not certain I would be in terribly good shape right now, if it wasn't for your company today, James."

He shrugs his shoulders. "You seemed-- to be enjoying yourself today. You seemed to enjoy the role of a husband earlier, at the cafe, with an idea of what that would entail. What happened?"

"Well-- yes..." That is what they've been doing. And there hasn't been any expectation that Bucky can be any kind of substitute for what Zemo had lost in Sokovia. It doesn't make their relationship any... less meaningful, or more inferior. They're just different. Even if they are married now.

Bucky maybe just couldn't see the positive impact he's had, on Zemo or on Oeznik. He's just internalised the fact that they're both helping him and he may not be as much of a burden as he used to be anymore, but they're still doing him favours everyday, taking care of him.

But Zemo's saying he's had a good time thus far, and he seems sincere about it, and Bucky is trying to reconcile that with his assumptions of how they're supposed to work and other presumptions of what their new marriage should look like.

"Nothing happened." Zemo's hand isn't on his anymore, and he pulls away from the gear stick, resting his loose fist on top of his thigh.

"I just... I was yours. And things felt simple." Bucky swallows and averts his gaze to look out the window.

"But now you're... You're also mine. And I..." His eyebrows furrow and he takes in a deep breath, reluctant to admit it. Can he admit weakness without getting hurt for it? His scowl deepens and he sighs through his nose, licking his bottom lip, plucking at the inner seam of his pants.

"I'm scared."

"Scared of what, James?" He prompts carefully, shifting in his seat to face Bucky properly. There's a slight twitch to his lips -- he's rather certain this is the first time Bucky has ever dared called Zemo his. Strangely, it isn't that terrible to hear.

"I think it's-- somewhat normal, considering our lives." Idly, he reaches across the seat to brush his fingers along Bucky's jaw, up to brush through his hair, comb it back a bit. Hopefully it's at least a bit soothing to them both.

They should have talked about this in the Alps. Or in the house. In bed. Bucky can just bury his face in the pillow when he thinks he's said enough and Zemo can just throw a shitfit until he gets Bucky to speak his mind. Now he's trapped in a car with nowhere to hide and Zemo looking at him and if he talks about what he's scared about, everything he fears will happen at once.

Like he'll wake up right now in an ice cold tank and the last decade has just been one long, strange dream. And it will come to light that he has nothing worth sharing with Zemo, or anyone else. In all likelihood, Zemo will just think he's being stupid and stop touching his face and his hair.

"Maybe you deserve someone to wake up to." In their bed. Where all the uncertainties and doubts started growing from. "And all you're getting is. Some whackjob in his underwear rolling around on the floor." It's not meant to be funny, despite the way he says it.

"And you likely deserve someone who didn't use you, or frame you, or tear you away from a chance at rebuilding a normal life." One where he doesn't have to watch over his shoulder or lie about or endure Wakanda's wrath one day when they realize he's on the run with the man who murdered their beloved king.

And what will they say when they realize he's married him on top of it all?

"I'm certain many would call me a-- whackjob, was it? I can hardly judge." There's a wry smile tugging at his lips. Even before he brought down the Avengers -- when he spend his days hunting down HYDRA and doing dirty jobs for Sokovia.

"I don't expect to wake to you every morning, James. The times I do are-- more than enough, and the times you feel the need to sleep on the floor, we will work through it. I'm not under any delusion we will live a perfectly happy, married life, James. We're both a bit too broken for that. But that doesn't mean we can't have something nice while it lasts, does it?"

They've managed plenty of nice so far. "Unless you truly do want to take the rings off, not-- mention any of this again. I will admit I wouldn't like it, but I would understand it."

"I never stood a chance." And he knows it. He would have lived his whole life exactly like that - looking over his shoulder, paranoid, waiting for the Wakandans to find him and kill him. If Zemo hadn't framed him, if wouldn't have been the Wakandans, but it would have been someone else, and he'd have been right back where he started.

Only, he wouldn't have been married. And he'd have had to endure the isolation and the constant high-strung fear and anxiety of living a very fragile lie as a fugitive, alone, and scared, and confused.

"I made a vow," he says quietly, swallowing, looking down at his bandaged hand, thumb touching the ring. "I made a vow. And you're mine."

And maybe one day he will see that Zemo had always been his, the day he broke him out of prison and started following him everywhere he went.

"I don't care that you can't remember making your vow. You can take it off when I'm dead." And not a moment before that. Zemo wanted to marry this stubborn whackjob after all. Now he has to live with that decision.

"Possessive," Zemo tries for teasing, even if there's a bit of relief at the insistence that he doesn't want to forget what happened, even if Zemo's own memories are rather hazy of the events. He can remember enough.

And now that he's not dealing with his own doubts and fears, he can... enjoy what it is they have.

There's a smile that's more genuine that follows the teasing before he leans in to try to draw Bucky in for a proper kiss. "You could always remind me of these vows. I would not forget again..."

Most likely. "You should give yourself more credit, James. You have not disappointed me today when I needed you."

There was a rough start to the morning, but-- it has certainly turned around, hasn't it? He likes to think so at least.

"Maybe I am." He's not sure because it's been so long since he last thought of something as his own, and no one else's. He can be quite careless when it comes to certain things, but. Zemo isn't exactly just something he would leave lying around the house. He would snarl and bite if someone tried taking his Sokovian chewtoy out of his mouth.

It's annoying, being in the car with the centre console and the gear box in between them, not much room at all when his legs shift and his knees hit the bottom of the steering wheel. Bucky has to resist the urge to yank Zemo over although he does grip tightly into Zemo's shirt and on Zemo's hip. Is there a butt there? Oops.

"I could just tell you you vowed to stop causing any more trouble and you wouldn't know," Bucky points out when their lips part. More likely than not, the vows were same old, same old. Cherish and love, sickness and death, blah blah blah. It would be disgustingly sappy to repeat them now.

He doesn't really want to be making out in the front seat of a car. Although maybe he wouldn't mind so much once they get to the drive-in movie, and it's dark, and if there's anybody around, they're minding their own business. So he tries to get Zemo to gently settle down again before he straps himself in and starts finding their way out of the carpark.

"You ever... made out in a car?" Bucky asks quietly.

"That doesn't sound like something I'd vow at all, James." He may not remember everything clearly, but causing trouble is something he's rather talented at. Bucky would be bored without that feature, he's sure.

But he does settle back in, buckling his seat belt as a quiet laugh leaves his lips. Not entirely subtle with that question, Zemo notes. "I've done more than just that, but yes."

With Zemo's love of classic and expensive cars, is it any wonder he's had a few intimate encounters in them? "Or were you asking if it's something I would like to do?"

There's a teasing note to his voice as his eyes drift to the road in front of them. "The answer is yes, of course."

He's not sure how it will go, but if he's stuck like this for a bit, he may as well see what it's like, especially if Bucky is so interested.

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