If by cuddle he means giving Bucky a rough shove and a hard smack for latching onto him and slowly falling asleep in all that hot water, without giving Zemo the attention he wants, then sure, there will be cuddling. Bucky's probably the only one who would prefer to sit in less than lukewarm water. The heat will just make him whimper.
"What did you choose?" Is it something skimpy? Don't ask him why he assumes that. It's just-- Zemo had been so keen to cover himself up just the once, this morning. After that he seems to have gotten more and more comfortable with... his predicament.
Bucky has only seemed to have gotten more handsy since. More willing to be affectionate in public and in private. More open to touching and talking and being touched back, letting Zemo touch his metal arm and run his fingertips over those scale-like plates, and just the little things he doesn't do, like stroking Zemo's thigh while he's thinking and talking. It's a kind of obliviousness on a whole other level that he can't see how he's acting different.
Maybe he loves the tits. Or maybe he just has very strange ideas of how men are supposed to interact, and he doesn't let himself get affectionate because it's not what men do with each other, because he assumes Zemo doesn't want or wouldn't welcome this.
There will most certainly be smacking involved if Bucky falls asleep on him. Now is hardly the time for sleep -- and maybe Zemo is a bit afraid of what he'll wake up as tomorrow, what will have changed. If he turns into a cat or a blob or whatever else...
And it isn't as if he's missed the-- affection either. Or the willingness to be more so. Zemo hasn't been swatted away or given uncomfortable side glances. He can't decide it's nice -- well, no, it has certainly been nice. Bucky taking initiative on touching, or flirting more.
Maybe just the talking more, the little sweet promises he doesn't hear often or the other ways Bucky has talked that he isn't generally inclined... Maybe that has all been very nice, but very unexpected.
And Zemo isn't sure quite what it means, or what to do if it all goes away again if he's put back to normal.
"Oh, you will have to wait and see, James." It's probably not as skimpy as Bucky is thinking -- no more than how the majority of bathing suits tend to be. Zemo has always been inclined towards layers of clothes and now isn't much different, even if he was willing to share more with Bucky, specifically.
Clothes fixed, hair patted into place as much as Zemo can manage, he shifts back into Bucky's side with a soft sigh.
"You know, you usually do not announce when you are intending on undressing me," he points out after a moment, keeping any accusations out of his tone. Instead, there's just curiosity for now. It isn't as if they aren't-- often inspiring Oeznik to invest in earplugs or sending them off by themselves, but it seems... different, at the moment. Perhaps Bucky truly does enjoy his new body and its... attributes.
Well if he turns into a cat then Steve would have company and luckily, the cat tree will be set up in the sun room by then for him to perch in and enjoy. But Bucky is not really expecting anything either. Zemo could wake up like this or in his old body and at this point, with the aliens and the magic and the timey wimey, honestly nothing would faze him. Bucky could wake up next to a dragon tomorrow and just go back to sleep.
Despite letting him indulge, or even encourage Bucky's overbearing protectiveness, at some point when he's got Bucky's heavy arm draped over him holding him in this consensual spooning, all this power might get to Zemo's head, and he probably will need to set some ground rules if he wants to wean his Soldier off him and make this... marriage a little less dysfunctional and codependent.
For now, Bucky seems content to watch some running, shooting, explosions, swerving car chases and frantic phone calls while petting Zemo's hair, chewing on his bottom lip before turning to look at him. He tips his head in a way that most definitely would have his old friends accusing him of spending far too much time with Zemo.
"You'd-- rather I didn't?" Why did Bucky announce his intentions? It had seemed only natural the time... "I don't-- I'm not that kind of man. And you're-- I mean... you'd tell me if you didn't want me to. And I'd leave you alone." He wouldn't just go tearing swimsuits off a woman, is what he means. But Zemo isn't a woman. Well, he is right now, in flesh only so to speak, but. You know.
Bucky averts his gaze. He wouldn't go tearing swimsuits off other guys either. That's weird, to him. Well with Zemo he might, but Zemo might do it to him too, and they're rough, and they don't really talk about it, even when there's bruises afterwards and they probably should have said something. And Bucky's not sure he can articulate why it's different now, but it is different. A part of him is more worried about hurting Zemo physically or emotionally like this than when he's in his usual body.
Co-dependence had never been something Zemo had been worried about happening necessarily but now it... seems to be the case. With Bucky unwilling to let go, and Zemo resolutely not wanting to experience anything similar to the losses he's had over and over again. it's something that needs to be worked on, something they should strive to get to a healthier balance.
But right now, all Zemo wants to do is curl up into Bucky's side and watch some mindless film across the screen, and pretend his world isn't unbearably... large now. Aliens and magic and things he'd rather not deal with at all, or see anyone deal with. It's hard to not blame superheroes or mad icons for bringing this on the world. Perhaps it was inevitable though, something neither he nor anyone else could have changed the course of.
It's just feeling a little weightier than usual when he's currently afflicted with-- whatever is happening here, and trying to navigate his own feelings about it. Maybe it's simply easier to dissect Bucky's reactions and sentiments. Maybe that's why his mind keeps drifting, or maybe it's simple paranoia.
There's a wry smile at the fumbled out question. "Would I rather my husband not show interest in me? Of course not. It's... nice, James. Flattering."
It's just also a bit on the unusual, jarring side of things compared to the normal, and it feeds into paranoia that he is trying to keep tamed at least. "I know you'd stop if I asked."
It isn't as if Bucky hasn't gotten upset with him before for not speaking up when rough has slid over the line to painful before. He knows well enough that at his base, Bucky is not the monster that either of them may have thought initially years ago. Particularly when it comes to choices being taken away, it seems something he detests to do. No, Zemo knows full and well Bucky would stop if he asked. That isn't the issue. But things are certainly different now, in ways Zemo can't help but notice. Maybe they passed by his attention before. He'd never seen Bucky interact with a woman this way before -- not that he is a woman, despite his body.
"I was only making an observation. You're very rarely vocal about when you want me, that is all." Well, not counting when they're in the middle of the act. He can be rather vocal then when Zemo seems to be doing the right things.
The only people Bucky has interacted with are the people affiliated with the Avengers, or SHIELD, HYDRA, various handlers, maybe the occasional talking raccoon or sentient tree. The only one who's seen Bucky 80 years ago in a dance hall or at a party surrounded by laughing girls is Steve. And even then, Bucky is not that guy anymore.
"You mean I'm rarely vocal about anything," Bucky remarks, glancing over before letting his gaze slide back to the screen. Oeznik might beg to differ on those particularly 'sleepless nights' but he also knows that Bucky can fall into an unsettling, prolonged silence that is typical of anyone who's spent too much time alone even if he hasn't bore witness to those weeklong stints of wordless self-neglect in isolation. For as annoying as there is to have the village idiot hovering in the kitchen like a persistent fly, Oeznik would rather Bucky be there and show some interest in food than not coming out of a locked room for days and trying to gently talk to him through the door.
A part of Bucky doesn't know what he wants, and that'll likely remain the case for a while. But a part of him is also afraid that once he's made up his mind and said what he wants out loud, it'll get taken away from him. Nobody feels dejected or gets disappointed if he doesn't say anything.
"You also very rarely need the reassurance." Zemo's usually confident about everything - about himself. Bucky's not saying that this wouldn't throw him for a loop - it would mess with anyone - but he figures if he can help Zemo take things in his stride then this is the least he can do. But if Zemo thinks he's acting a little weird then he supposes he can just stop and fall back into his normal kind of distantly quiet, perpetually irritated, glaring and scowling demeanour. Sad as it is to admit, it is a comfortable and natural state of being for him.
There's a subtle shrug at that remark, deciding against pointing out it's not quite anything to do with confidence or needing reassurance. It can be for fun, as well. Harmless flirting or teasing. Sometimes, it isn't so bad to be able to talk about-- those more intimate things.
But they've done quite a bit of talking today, tonight... there's enough to roll around his mind about many things the rest of the night when he's trying to fend off sleep lest he wake up in some other odd predicament. Maybe he should give Bucky a bit of a break.
"... We should get back in the front. The movie will be over soon." He leans in to press a quick kiss to Bucky's cheek before he reluctantly shifts away to climb back over again.
"And I was not criticizing, James. Today has been a good look on you, is all." ... Regressing isn't quite what Zemo wanted either, but that seems an argument for later.
Bucky could climb over in between the seats like Zemo, but, you know, he's worried he'll get stuck, and he might break something, so he has to tidy up his attire and do the walk of shame from the back seat to the front seat, try to ignore any looks cast his way. Thankfully everyone is just focused on the movie.
While he wouldn't say he was being particularly overtly defensive, he's not sure why he felt the need to defend himself either. Maybe just Zemo pointing out the occasional thing here and there makes him more self-conscious about these things.
"Yeah? I'd say the same, but you might get the wrong idea." That Bucky cares about what Zemo had looked like yesterday, is looking like today, or will look like tomorrow. On some unconscious level he cares to be a little bit more of a gentleman or he might return to monkey but he'll still go to sleep in the same room as a cat, blob or humanoid-shaped Zemo, even if he won't always make it all the way into the bed.
"We still have a backseat load of snacks..." And Bucky would eat them, but you know, he's driving now, and he doubts Zemo would appreciate fluorescent orange smears on his steering wheel.
It isn't Zemo's fault if Bucky never has fun -- Zemo's found plenty of ways to amuse himself. Even when it's ended up with a hand at his throat and death threats, he's still found some morbid sense of amusement here and there. And the affection today hasn't been all that bed either, of course, or the time spent just enjoying each other's company.
"Well, more for home, then." He shrugs his shoulders, lips curling up slightly. "Unless Oeznik refuses to allow you to add any more, of course. But hopefully all of the gifts will put him in a very good mood."
The watch should, at least. Maybe the boardshorts will get an amused chuckle out of the old man, even if Zemo isn't sure he will actually wear them where any can see. "At least he should not send us away on another honeymoon."
'Honeymoon'. He's still rather certain that was a bit of a punishment for his actions that night, being alone and isolated. But at least it had not been all bad, and he hadn't truly been alone.
"I don't have that many..." Bucky says quietly with a small frown. He's only taking up a half shelf. He will never hear the end of it from Oeznik, how he refuses proper meals but will eat gummy snakes, doritos, pringles, hot pockets... He can't even sneak snacks into his room without Oeznik somehow knowing and bringing his stash into the pantry to force him to leave the room. Bucky's not sure he wants to risk the old man's wrath by taking his snacks out of the car.
"It was nice." Bucky was oblivious to any unkind intentions Oeznik might have had. If anything, Oeznik might have wanted to give Bucky some respite from Vegas. "You really have places in the middle of nowhere. You didn't have a good time?"
He did notice there were a few times Zemo might have been a little bored, but he was busy plodding around in the snow and looking out over the view and cutting his hand open.
"I never said that. There were very good moments," he answers, and it's honest. There were some nice little moments with Bucky before he managed to cut his hand open -- and even the night spent huddled together in the clinic had not been all bad. He doesn't want Bucky to think there hadn't been... any enjoyment at all.
"It reminds me, sometimes, of Berlin. The isolation, the lack of stimulation and distractions. It makes it so much easier for old ghosts to return," he admits after a moment. He knows that Bucky insists being unconscious during one's captivity hadn't been much better, but part of him still disagrees. He'd have rather slept.
"But you seemed to enjoy it quite a bit... It doesn't unnerve you at all, being so removed from everything?"
Bucky can understand, not liking that isolation, being in this box with an untold number of people watching, feeling like an animal in a cage and people too afraid to even talk to you. The Alps were different though. It didn't feel like Siberia, a few visual similarities aside.
"No. There was no one else for miles. It felt safe." And not safe like nobody would come looking for them up there in their warm little cabin, but safe like it was the kind of space he could take his time to work through some of the mess inside his head and no one would rush him through anything. He could snap and there wouldn't be anyone around who could get hurt - other than Zemo.
"A little inconvenient, but. It's how I hoped I would get to live the rest of my days. Just-- alone and quiet and. No... Witchcraft or sentient robots or genocidal aliens, military or politicians." Bucky sighs and lowers his gaze, wringing his hands in his lap, swallowing the lump in his throat. He knows how old he sounds saying how much life was easier 80 years ago. But he didn't have to think about all these things back then.
"I mean. Here I have to worry about getting recognised or. Not meeting expectations. People getting hurt. I don't know. Over there I-- felt free."
"Safe." He supposes. In many ways, it would be safer than where they are now -- another reason Oeznik likely chose that destination, beyond frustration or wanting to give Bucky a break from Vegas. There's no real reason to reiterate how he feels about all of that either, how much he'd rather there weren't aliens or superheroes or anything so big. Bigger than humanity, a danger and a threat that most could not hope to stand against.
No, instead he just reaches across the seat to rest a hand over one of Bucky's. He understands it. Wanting to just-- stop. It's quite a life to be entrenched in for so long. You make enemies, you can never quite truly relax. Add on the fact that they are likely very wanted men at this point...
It is exhausting after a point.
"Would you like it if we found a small place there? Not to live at permanently, of course, but one we could return to on occasion." As much as Zemo's skin crawls at that sort of isolation after so many years of it--
Well, never let it be said he's an inconsiderate spouse, or that he can't be generous when he wants to be. "Or-- you could go alone on occasion, if that's what you need. Or live there permanently, but only if the worse happens to me, of course. And only if you promise to venture out occasionally. You'll go mad in that sort of isolation, James, however nice it may feel."
Honestly he'd expected to be berated a bit for basically wanting to shirk his responsibilities and not necessarily stick his head in the sand, but not get too involved either. It's not the right thing to do, when adversities come and he's alone on his mountain having a cup of coffee looking at snowcapped mountains while the rest of the world burns. It's not the-- American or Captain American or Steve Rogers thing to do.
But Steve got to save the world again and go back to get his girl. And Bucky isn't Steve. He's nowhere near redeemed himself enough to deserve his happily ever after in the Alps.
"I'm already mad," he points out softly, giving Zemo's hand a light squeeze.
"It'll be nice, to go back and stay." He doesn't want to say 'if something happens to you' because if he doesn't say it aloud then obviously it would never happen. "But I want to take care of Oeznik. He isn't getting any younger." If Oeznik is following him up there, that's fine. But if Oeznik wants to stay here, then Bucky's staying too.
"You're all I have left. The two of you." And the mangy old cat who's likely only going to be around for a few more years. "Alone time in the mountains can wait."
Bucky is not Captain America. He isn't Steve Rogers, who Zemo already has plenty of complicated feelings about. He isn't an icon, made to continue the sort of life his hero friends expect. Bucky also isn't an attack dog, to be dragged out when aliens are brought to their home or the next mad icon decides to destroy the world. If retiring is what Bucky wants, before he's too burnt out to do anything else, then Zemo can't deny him that.
... Although the irksome worry is frustrating. If he's ever gone, he'd rather... Bucky be out in the world. "Ah, well... you've certainly called me crazy as well. There are worse things we could be."
... Like terrorists, murderers. Hm.
"I would be grateful," Zemo admits, a warmer look coming to his face. "He has no family either. I-- do not like the thought of him being alone."
Of course Oeznik is perfectly capable, if that is the case. But Zemo can't say he doesn't worry about someone who has been in his life since he was a child, a constant. "I haven't any heirs left, no family to speak of beyond the two of you. Certainly no desire for more as a wanted man. Whatever I have is yours, James. You do with it as you want."
When he's gone, of course, but even now -- it isn't as if Zemo is terribly inclined to say no. "Your fate is not... sealed in the way mine is, James. I do believe there is still a place out there for you. A proper life."
And he'd rather see him pursue that than go hide, but it isn't so simple as giving a command or order, is it?
"Although I should be cross with you, James. I was prepared for you to kill me, the very minute I saw my name in that book of yours, and then you end up giving me reasons to live instead." It's rude, really.
"To the point I would be a liar if I said I did not have the desperate thought of staying this way if it means more time together, less worry." He won't, of course, but it is still something that has crossed his mind.
Funnily enough, if anyone's made him feel like an attack dog, Zemo is one of the last people on his mind. The Wakandans can do no wrong in his book, but they've made him feel more like a weaponisable object than Zemo has. He doesn't think he deserves his happily ever after just yet, but when the time comes, he's pretty sure solitude is what he would want.
"This is my proper life," Bucky insists. He's not sure that Zemo can see that, when he's living in all these hypotheticals, where this is just a temporary thing that he's expecting to be zapped from at any moment. It's not like Bucky doesn't spend his time here thinking he's going to wake up in a cryo chamber any minute now and this was all just an elaborate dream from time to time. That still doesn't stop him from putting in the effort, trying his best to make the most out of what he can.
"I can't make him stop worrying about you. But I don't want him to be alone, either. He's lost everything too." He's not saying this because he thinks he owes Zemo anything or because he's obligated to take care of Oeznik. He just wants to. Just like he wants to live this life, and not some fantasy Zemo made up about that retired assassin life running around in New York City doing-- what, exactly? A 9 to 5 job, finding another wife, arguing over takeout expenses?
"I've thought about dying, a lot of times." Sometimes multiple times in the same day, even if he doesn't say it aloud. "Whatever people say about the easy way out, what people deserve and all that, I don't know anything about it. All I know is, I don't want to do that anymore. A name in the book is just unfinished business, that's all." And, honestly, Bucky doesn't know how this particular business is going to finish. It's certainly put him in positions he couldn't imagine himself ever being in.
"I don't know if things are supposed to turn out this way. But I think we're doing better today than we were yesterday, and maybe that's all it is. At least, I know you want to be three steps ahead, but. Doing better today is enough for me..."
Bucky is-- useful. Strong, resilient. Zemo is still a soldier, a leader. Sometimes it's impossible to turn it off, but he likes to think he treats Bucky better now. Sees him as a man, even if his feelings about the serum are still complicated. Then again, so are his feelings about Bucky and what they're doing in general, but-- he's as close to happy as he's been in a while. It may lead to additional paranoia, the fear of losing what they've got, but...
He's content. That's all he can really ask for or expect after so many years, living like he has.
"He'll always fret about those he's close to," Zemo answers with a shrug. "He is rather good at that."
He worries about Bucky too, he's sure of it. Despite all the complaints, all the warnings he's given Zemo... he's rather certain it comes from a place of concern for both. Zemo hopes he doesn't leave either of them anytime soon, but at least he can relax a bit, knowing Oeznik has someone to occupy at least a bit of his time.
His thumb idly rubs over the back of Bucky's hand as he quietly digests those words, rolls them over in his head. He's not certain if it's a good thing really, being Bucky's reason for anything at all, but it's still nice to hear that he's contributed a bit all the same.
"I suppose I can be content with doing better today." It is deeply frustrating, not being steps ahead, but... he will deal with that. They will deal with that. Right now, enjoying what's left of the day sounds far more appealing.
It's why he starts to slip his hand out of Bucky's and flashes him a look. "Are you ready to go home?"
Bucky grips tight out of instinct before letting Zemo's hand go and giving him a perfunctory nod. Cars have been starting to leave in some kind of semi-orderly fashion and they shouldn't hold everyone else up even if they're off on the side minding their own business. Bucky turns the engine on and checks the heater temperature blowing out of the vents with the back of his flesh hand, making sure Zemo would be comfortable before he pulls out of their lot when it's their turn.
The drive home is fairly uneventful, apart from it being a little dark out and Bucky has to go slower than he likes. He doesn't really say much until they're in the garage, and he kills the engine, and the garage door is rolling down slowly behind them. Yes, that is Bucky trying to reach over the backseat and stuffing all their snacks into his pockets. He'd probably shove the beef jerky in his pants if he thought he could get away with smuggling that into his room.
"We can try and sneak you in, if you wanna wait here for a bit. We can probably get away with it today, see what happens tomorrow. Or... I don't mind just going in and telling him. Unless you have any ideas, or you wanna do it personally."
"I believe he deserves to know." As daunting as all of that is. It makes it a bit more real, letting another in on... whatever has happened here. But Oeznik is Oeznik, and he likely knows something is amiss anyway.
"Besides, you do have snacks to sneak in, I believe." There's a teasing smile that mostly hides any concern Zemo is feeling as he goes to slip out of the car. He gives a bit of a stretch before going around back to gather some of their bags.
"You can go to your room, James. I will go speak with Oeznik." And hopefully not give his dear friend a heart attack.
"... With any luck, he does not think I am an intruder." He isn't quite as helpless as he seems after all and Zemo doesn't want to be mistaken for a potential threat. Perhaps if he offers the watch first...
"Okay." He'll grab the rest of the bags, taking Zemo's new wardrobe and the cat tree while Zemo handles the gifts and the coffee and the two snacks Bucky thinks might work to convince Oeznik he hasn't snuck any food into the bedrooms. Of course, unbeknownst to Bucky, usually Zemo willingly hands over the secret stash of snacks, but he keeps some in his own room and that stockpile is safe for now.
"I need to set up my phone as well." With his primitive charger and making sure the SIM card is activated and all the rest of it. "I'll come down if I hear any screaming," he adds dryly as he makes his way inside, careful not to let anything fall out of his pockets. Oeznik would have heard them come home, but he's luckily busy in the kitchen so he didn't come to greet them. Bucky leaves the cat tree by the foot of the stairs and makes his way upstairs as quickly and quietly as he can, popping into his room first to empty his pockets before slipping into Zemo's to try and arrange all these clothes, and also stash a couple packets of snacks in places Oeznik hasn't raided yet.
Almost immediately he had Steve weaving between his legs trying to kill him going up the stairs, but he's hoping once he gets the tree set up, Steve will have one more thing to entertain himself with and would be less likely to attempt manslaughter.
"Let me know if your phone explodes with worried texts from your friends..." They had to know about the Vegas sighting by now, yes? Hopefully, they are not actively looking for Bucky anywhere... and Zemo doubts anyone would think to check Wyoming of all places.
Zemo decides that it's best to just walk into the kitchen like nothing at all is abnormal about this, his usual confidence. It's going to give Oeznik a start, either way, but it's best to just get it over with quickly.
... And while Zemo wouldn't want any more hospital or clinic visits so soon, Bucky taking just a tiny tumble down the stairs may be a welcome distraction in a moment when Oeznik demands to know what the meaning of all of this is, what happened and Zemo will have no real answers to provide.
Another drunken mistake in Vegas? A wish gone very, very wrong? It's impossible to tell, really.
The thought hadn't even occurred to him that anyone would care, but that soon dissipates when he carefully pops the SIM card in and turns the phone on. It doesn't stop vibrating in the time it takes Bucky to empty his pockets and unpack the shopping bags. Zemo's new clothes will need a wash, but first all the tags have to come off. Tempting as it is to 'help' by using his teeth, Bucky leaves the clothes in a neat pile on the edge of Zemo's bed, shoes by the door.
He takes in a deep breath once his new phone stops vibrating - not because the messages have stopped but because the mailbox and the voicemail box is full - and he thinks to just delete everything. Unfortunately he makes the mistake of reading one from Sam, and it only gets worse from there.
Mostly it's all along the lines of 'Bucky, listen to me, Zemo is not your friend' and his therapist has chimed in also to try and point out all the ways Zemo is gaslighting him, how giving up his own thoughts and desires is a fantasy he shouldn't be indulging in, he doesn't have to 'live this way' - whatever that means - and how he has to overcome the difficult challenge of breaking out of an abusive, controlling relationship.
It's all very well-intentioned, ever so slightly patronising, and leaving him feeling like the only person who actually cares about what he wants is downstairs trying to explain his Current Predicament to his butler.
He should be going downstairs trying to make sure Oeznik doesn't have an aneurysm and Zemo is okay, but he's just sitting on the edge of the bed mindlessly scrolling and deleting words of concern dejectedly while his eyes glaze over everybody's worries and opinions. He might head downstairs if he hears any raised voices though.
But so far, judging from the lack of commotion, it seems like Oeznik is taking it better than 'THE FLOOR IS HOT!' maybe?
Oeznik startles as expected when he turns to greet Zemo and sees-- well, certainly not what he expects. Zemo isn't certain what he expected either, but there's well-intentioned fussing and concern from the old man who comes closer to look him over. It puts him a bit on edge, the scrutiny and his own lack of solid answers on what happened.
At least it doesn't take much to convince Oeznik it is indeed him. They've had a lifetime together and there are things only Zemo would know -- and fortunately, he must still look similar enough. He isn't treated as an intruder, and that's something, isn't it?
Of course there's some blame thrown at that Vegas trip, on Zemo being reckless and irresponsible that has him feeling like a teenager caught in mischief all over again. There's some frustration over Bucky clearly not watching over him as well as he'd thought, on top of the marriage and everything else that followed. It seems even Oeznik has his boiling point.
And then comes Zemo explaining they may have to leave again to-- fix this, meet with some of Bucky's acquaintances, deal in magic, unless he magically changes back or he accepts his very strange fate. He seems to have some reservations about getting too close to the remaining Avengers, most of all one of the ones Zemo put in The Raft himself. But what else can be done? Oeznik ultimately agrees in the end.
It doesn't seem as if the watch and the gifts, though appreciated, are enough to entirely soothe the old man's concern or irritation or provide a proper distraction, but he collects himself as much as he can, even manages a remark or two about having a lady of the house again.
The boardshorts go over as well as they both expected, confusion and a huff before Zemo insists that Oeznik needs to relax more, take it a bit easier. They are settled after all, and Oeznik has done enough to deserve it. The remark that it's impossible to take it easy when Zemo keeps bringing home more and more messes has the baron looking properly sullen by the time he goes back upstairs.
He tilts his head when he sees the other sat on the edge of the bed with that look on his face, scrolling through his new phone. Of course there would not be good news up here.
He sighs and moves to sit on the edge of the bed next to Bucky, casually toeing off his shoes. "Oeznik did not die of shock at the very least, and he is still preparing dinner if you're hungry."
Now, wouldn't that have been a perfectly depressing evening if his old friend had fallen over from a heart attack?
Bucky's head snaps up when he hears Zemo coming in. It would be too obvious to just put his phone away, but he does turn it facing down as Zemo approaches, casting a small, tight-lipped smile Zemo's way. Not dying of shock is always a bonus, but clearly he wasn't elated either, and Zemo seems a little... Off.
"I'm good. Just-- got flooded with texts from Sam." Bucky snaps his phone shut with one hand and puts it on top of the bedside drawer, leaving it to charge.
"I think it's safe to say, everyone knows we got married." In Vegas, no less, and while apparently those marriages don't count, they seem to all be taking it very seriously.
"Are you hungry?" Bucky asks softly, turning a bit more to face Zemo, pulling more than half of one folded leg up onto the bed. He'd rather talk about what they're going to do with the rest of their day than talk about what other people think about their marriage.
"Dinner might be nice. And a shower." He still feels like he's in that just-had-sex state and needing a bit of a cleanup. But he probably won't put too much effort into it because they're going to slink into the hot tub anyway.
"Don't worry about Oeznik," Bucky tries to reassure Zemo even though he has no idea what's wrong. "He'll come around."
"I will assume he isn't angry over his lack of invitation." He wonders what the messages say, what they're telling Bucky.
"Am I the dastardly villain, manipulating and controlling you?" It isn't quite a question, even if it's phrased as one. He can be rather certain they're reminding Bucky of all the little slights, all the bigger wrongs, and everything else he's been on the receiving end of when it comes to Zemo. Perhaps a little part of him wonders if Bucky is even considering any of their words of wisdom.
"Not particularly." But he did figure that Bucky just may be. "But a shower is a good idea. It will be quicker together."
... Provided they keep their hands to themselves, but Zemo doesn't see that being a particular problem at the moment, not when they've both got plenty to occupy their thoughts.
There's a wry smile at the reassurance. "I would say the same for Sam, but I think we both know better than that by now. I don't think he will be letting go of the fact that I put him in the Raft any time soon."
Zemo is already pushing himself up and starting to discard clothes. It's perhaps a little more awkward now that they're not wound up in the backseat of a car, but-- Bucky has already been as intimately close as possible. "Follow me, James. I will get the shower started... I may even let you under the water first."
Bucky just snickers. "Do you really want Sam at your wedding?" He wouldn't mind, himself. Anyone else he could have invited beyond Steve's friends are dead. He wouldn't inflict Sam on Zemo though.
"No, it's fine. He thinks I'm crazy. Crazier than usual." Forcing a smile, Bucky tries to dismiss Zemo's concern as though everything's okay, as though nobody's out for his blood, as though his phone isn't full of reminders of the things Zemo has done to him and the things he should be wanting to do to Zemo.
Bucky has spent more time feeling alone in the world than he has with company, so the censure doesn't bother him so much. But it's not always easy, when he's lived that life being a good boy doing what everyone around him tells him tto People who are closest to him have been trying to train him out of that, but now that he wants something for himself, he's struggling to find acceptance and approval.
"You never let me under the water first," Bucky points out as he shoves Zemo's discarded clothes to one side. He doesn't mind of course, but usually Zemo makes a point of stealing all the warmth from him and messing him up before getting him cleaned up.
He's a little more comfortable going to the bathroom with Zemo this time, starting to shed his clothes only once Zemo's in the shower and got the hot water started. Zemo's been fairly tame in the shower since Bucky hurt his hand but there's no guarantee he would stay that way.
"I don't think it's ever bothered you anyway. What anyone else thinks, about anything." Let them not start dwelling on that. Definitely not today.
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"What did you choose?" Is it something skimpy? Don't ask him why he assumes that. It's just-- Zemo had been so keen to cover himself up just the once, this morning. After that he seems to have gotten more and more comfortable with... his predicament.
Bucky has only seemed to have gotten more handsy since. More willing to be affectionate in public and in private. More open to touching and talking and being touched back, letting Zemo touch his metal arm and run his fingertips over those scale-like plates, and just the little things he doesn't do, like stroking Zemo's thigh while he's thinking and talking. It's a kind of obliviousness on a whole other level that he can't see how he's acting different.
Maybe he loves the tits. Or maybe he just has very strange ideas of how men are supposed to interact, and he doesn't let himself get affectionate because it's not what men do with each other, because he assumes Zemo doesn't want or wouldn't welcome this.
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And it isn't as if he's missed the-- affection either. Or the willingness to be more so. Zemo hasn't been swatted away or given uncomfortable side glances. He can't decide it's nice -- well, no, it has certainly been nice. Bucky taking initiative on touching, or flirting more.
Maybe just the talking more, the little sweet promises he doesn't hear often or the other ways Bucky has talked that he isn't generally inclined... Maybe that has all been very nice, but very unexpected.
And Zemo isn't sure quite what it means, or what to do if it all goes away again if he's put back to normal.
"Oh, you will have to wait and see, James." It's probably not as skimpy as Bucky is thinking -- no more than how the majority of bathing suits tend to be. Zemo has always been inclined towards layers of clothes and now isn't much different, even if he was willing to share more with Bucky, specifically.
Clothes fixed, hair patted into place as much as Zemo can manage, he shifts back into Bucky's side with a soft sigh.
"You know, you usually do not announce when you are intending on undressing me," he points out after a moment, keeping any accusations out of his tone. Instead, there's just curiosity for now. It isn't as if they aren't-- often inspiring Oeznik to invest in earplugs or sending them off by themselves, but it seems... different, at the moment. Perhaps Bucky truly does enjoy his new body and its... attributes.
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Despite letting him indulge, or even encourage Bucky's overbearing protectiveness, at some point when he's got Bucky's heavy arm draped over him holding him in this consensual spooning, all this power might get to Zemo's head, and he probably will need to set some ground rules if he wants to wean his Soldier off him and make this... marriage a little less dysfunctional and codependent.
For now, Bucky seems content to watch some running, shooting, explosions, swerving car chases and frantic phone calls while petting Zemo's hair, chewing on his bottom lip before turning to look at him. He tips his head in a way that most definitely would have his old friends accusing him of spending far too much time with Zemo.
"You'd-- rather I didn't?" Why did Bucky announce his intentions? It had seemed only natural the time... "I don't-- I'm not that kind of man. And you're-- I mean... you'd tell me if you didn't want me to. And I'd leave you alone." He wouldn't just go tearing swimsuits off a woman, is what he means. But Zemo isn't a woman. Well, he is right now, in flesh only so to speak, but. You know.
Bucky averts his gaze. He wouldn't go tearing swimsuits off other guys either. That's weird, to him. Well with Zemo he might, but Zemo might do it to him too, and they're rough, and they don't really talk about it, even when there's bruises afterwards and they probably should have said something. And Bucky's not sure he can articulate why it's different now, but it is different. A part of him is more worried about hurting Zemo physically or emotionally like this than when he's in his usual body.
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But right now, all Zemo wants to do is curl up into Bucky's side and watch some mindless film across the screen, and pretend his world isn't unbearably... large now. Aliens and magic and things he'd rather not deal with at all, or see anyone deal with. It's hard to not blame superheroes or mad icons for bringing this on the world. Perhaps it was inevitable though, something neither he nor anyone else could have changed the course of.
It's just feeling a little weightier than usual when he's currently afflicted with-- whatever is happening here, and trying to navigate his own feelings about it. Maybe it's simply easier to dissect Bucky's reactions and sentiments. Maybe that's why his mind keeps drifting, or maybe it's simple paranoia.
There's a wry smile at the fumbled out question. "Would I rather my husband not show interest in me? Of course not. It's... nice, James. Flattering."
It's just also a bit on the unusual, jarring side of things compared to the normal, and it feeds into paranoia that he is trying to keep tamed at least. "I know you'd stop if I asked."
It isn't as if Bucky hasn't gotten upset with him before for not speaking up when rough has slid over the line to painful before. He knows well enough that at his base, Bucky is not the monster that either of them may have thought initially years ago. Particularly when it comes to choices being taken away, it seems something he detests to do. No, Zemo knows full and well Bucky would stop if he asked. That isn't the issue. But things are certainly different now, in ways Zemo can't help but notice. Maybe they passed by his attention before. He'd never seen Bucky interact with a woman this way before -- not that he is a woman, despite his body.
"I was only making an observation. You're very rarely vocal about when you want me, that is all." Well, not counting when they're in the middle of the act. He can be rather vocal then when Zemo seems to be doing the right things.
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"You mean I'm rarely vocal about anything," Bucky remarks, glancing over before letting his gaze slide back to the screen. Oeznik might beg to differ on those particularly 'sleepless nights' but he also knows that Bucky can fall into an unsettling, prolonged silence that is typical of anyone who's spent too much time alone even if he hasn't bore witness to those weeklong stints of wordless self-neglect in isolation. For as annoying as there is to have the village idiot hovering in the kitchen like a persistent fly, Oeznik would rather Bucky be there and show some interest in food than not coming out of a locked room for days and trying to gently talk to him through the door.
A part of Bucky doesn't know what he wants, and that'll likely remain the case for a while. But a part of him is also afraid that once he's made up his mind and said what he wants out loud, it'll get taken away from him. Nobody feels dejected or gets disappointed if he doesn't say anything.
"You also very rarely need the reassurance." Zemo's usually confident about everything - about himself. Bucky's not saying that this wouldn't throw him for a loop - it would mess with anyone - but he figures if he can help Zemo take things in his stride then this is the least he can do. But if Zemo thinks he's acting a little weird then he supposes he can just stop and fall back into his normal kind of distantly quiet, perpetually irritated, glaring and scowling demeanour. Sad as it is to admit, it is a comfortable and natural state of being for him.
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But they've done quite a bit of talking today, tonight... there's enough to roll around his mind about many things the rest of the night when he's trying to fend off sleep lest he wake up in some other odd predicament. Maybe he should give Bucky a bit of a break.
"... We should get back in the front. The movie will be over soon." He leans in to press a quick kiss to Bucky's cheek before he reluctantly shifts away to climb back over again.
"And I was not criticizing, James. Today has been a good look on you, is all." ... Regressing isn't quite what Zemo wanted either, but that seems an argument for later.
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Bucky could climb over in between the seats like Zemo, but, you know, he's worried he'll get stuck, and he might break something, so he has to tidy up his attire and do the walk of shame from the back seat to the front seat, try to ignore any looks cast his way. Thankfully everyone is just focused on the movie.
While he wouldn't say he was being particularly overtly defensive, he's not sure why he felt the need to defend himself either. Maybe just Zemo pointing out the occasional thing here and there makes him more self-conscious about these things.
"Yeah? I'd say the same, but you might get the wrong idea." That Bucky cares about what Zemo had looked like yesterday, is looking like today, or will look like tomorrow. On some unconscious level he cares to be a little bit more of a gentleman or he might return to monkey but he'll still go to sleep in the same room as a cat, blob or humanoid-shaped Zemo, even if he won't always make it all the way into the bed.
"We still have a backseat load of snacks..." And Bucky would eat them, but you know, he's driving now, and he doubts Zemo would appreciate fluorescent orange smears on his steering wheel.
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"Well, more for home, then." He shrugs his shoulders, lips curling up slightly. "Unless Oeznik refuses to allow you to add any more, of course. But hopefully all of the gifts will put him in a very good mood."
The watch should, at least. Maybe the boardshorts will get an amused chuckle out of the old man, even if Zemo isn't sure he will actually wear them where any can see. "At least he should not send us away on another honeymoon."
'Honeymoon'. He's still rather certain that was a bit of a punishment for his actions that night, being alone and isolated. But at least it had not been all bad, and he hadn't truly been alone.
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"It was nice." Bucky was oblivious to any unkind intentions Oeznik might have had. If anything, Oeznik might have wanted to give Bucky some respite from Vegas. "You really have places in the middle of nowhere. You didn't have a good time?"
He did notice there were a few times Zemo might have been a little bored, but he was busy plodding around in the snow and looking out over the view and cutting his hand open.
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"It reminds me, sometimes, of Berlin. The isolation, the lack of stimulation and distractions. It makes it so much easier for old ghosts to return," he admits after a moment. He knows that Bucky insists being unconscious during one's captivity hadn't been much better, but part of him still disagrees. He'd have rather slept.
"But you seemed to enjoy it quite a bit... It doesn't unnerve you at all, being so removed from everything?"
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"No. There was no one else for miles. It felt safe." And not safe like nobody would come looking for them up there in their warm little cabin, but safe like it was the kind of space he could take his time to work through some of the mess inside his head and no one would rush him through anything. He could snap and there wouldn't be anyone around who could get hurt - other than Zemo.
"A little inconvenient, but. It's how I hoped I would get to live the rest of my days. Just-- alone and quiet and. No... Witchcraft or sentient robots or genocidal aliens, military or politicians." Bucky sighs and lowers his gaze, wringing his hands in his lap, swallowing the lump in his throat. He knows how old he sounds saying how much life was easier 80 years ago. But he didn't have to think about all these things back then.
"I mean. Here I have to worry about getting recognised or. Not meeting expectations. People getting hurt. I don't know. Over there I-- felt free."
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No, instead he just reaches across the seat to rest a hand over one of Bucky's. He understands it. Wanting to just-- stop. It's quite a life to be entrenched in for so long. You make enemies, you can never quite truly relax. Add on the fact that they are likely very wanted men at this point...
It is exhausting after a point.
"Would you like it if we found a small place there? Not to live at permanently, of course, but one we could return to on occasion." As much as Zemo's skin crawls at that sort of isolation after so many years of it--
Well, never let it be said he's an inconsiderate spouse, or that he can't be generous when he wants to be. "Or-- you could go alone on occasion, if that's what you need. Or live there permanently, but only if the worse happens to me, of course. And only if you promise to venture out occasionally. You'll go mad in that sort of isolation, James, however nice it may feel."
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But Steve got to save the world again and go back to get his girl. And Bucky isn't Steve. He's nowhere near redeemed himself enough to deserve his happily ever after in the Alps.
"I'm already mad," he points out softly, giving Zemo's hand a light squeeze.
"It'll be nice, to go back and stay." He doesn't want to say 'if something happens to you' because if he doesn't say it aloud then obviously it would never happen. "But I want to take care of Oeznik. He isn't getting any younger." If Oeznik is following him up there, that's fine. But if Oeznik wants to stay here, then Bucky's staying too.
"You're all I have left. The two of you." And the mangy old cat who's likely only going to be around for a few more years. "Alone time in the mountains can wait."
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... Although the irksome worry is frustrating. If he's ever gone, he'd rather... Bucky be out in the world. "Ah, well... you've certainly called me crazy as well. There are worse things we could be."
... Like terrorists, murderers. Hm.
"I would be grateful," Zemo admits, a warmer look coming to his face. "He has no family either. I-- do not like the thought of him being alone."
Of course Oeznik is perfectly capable, if that is the case. But Zemo can't say he doesn't worry about someone who has been in his life since he was a child, a constant. "I haven't any heirs left, no family to speak of beyond the two of you. Certainly no desire for more as a wanted man. Whatever I have is yours, James. You do with it as you want."
When he's gone, of course, but even now -- it isn't as if Zemo is terribly inclined to say no. "Your fate is not... sealed in the way mine is, James. I do believe there is still a place out there for you. A proper life."
And he'd rather see him pursue that than go hide, but it isn't so simple as giving a command or order, is it?
"Although I should be cross with you, James. I was prepared for you to kill me, the very minute I saw my name in that book of yours, and then you end up giving me reasons to live instead." It's rude, really.
"To the point I would be a liar if I said I did not have the desperate thought of staying this way if it means more time together, less worry." He won't, of course, but it is still something that has crossed his mind.
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"This is my proper life," Bucky insists. He's not sure that Zemo can see that, when he's living in all these hypotheticals, where this is just a temporary thing that he's expecting to be zapped from at any moment. It's not like Bucky doesn't spend his time here thinking he's going to wake up in a cryo chamber any minute now and this was all just an elaborate dream from time to time. That still doesn't stop him from putting in the effort, trying his best to make the most out of what he can.
"I can't make him stop worrying about you. But I don't want him to be alone, either. He's lost everything too." He's not saying this because he thinks he owes Zemo anything or because he's obligated to take care of Oeznik. He just wants to. Just like he wants to live this life, and not some fantasy Zemo made up about that retired assassin life running around in New York City doing-- what, exactly? A 9 to 5 job, finding another wife, arguing over takeout expenses?
"I've thought about dying, a lot of times." Sometimes multiple times in the same day, even if he doesn't say it aloud. "Whatever people say about the easy way out, what people deserve and all that, I don't know anything about it. All I know is, I don't want to do that anymore. A name in the book is just unfinished business, that's all." And, honestly, Bucky doesn't know how this particular business is going to finish. It's certainly put him in positions he couldn't imagine himself ever being in.
"I don't know if things are supposed to turn out this way. But I think we're doing better today than we were yesterday, and maybe that's all it is. At least, I know you want to be three steps ahead, but. Doing better today is enough for me..."
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He's content. That's all he can really ask for or expect after so many years, living like he has.
"He'll always fret about those he's close to," Zemo answers with a shrug. "He is rather good at that."
He worries about Bucky too, he's sure of it. Despite all the complaints, all the warnings he's given Zemo... he's rather certain it comes from a place of concern for both. Zemo hopes he doesn't leave either of them anytime soon, but at least he can relax a bit, knowing Oeznik has someone to occupy at least a bit of his time.
His thumb idly rubs over the back of Bucky's hand as he quietly digests those words, rolls them over in his head. He's not certain if it's a good thing really, being Bucky's reason for anything at all, but it's still nice to hear that he's contributed a bit all the same.
"I suppose I can be content with doing better today." It is deeply frustrating, not being steps ahead, but... he will deal with that. They will deal with that. Right now, enjoying what's left of the day sounds far more appealing.
It's why he starts to slip his hand out of Bucky's and flashes him a look. "Are you ready to go home?"
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The drive home is fairly uneventful, apart from it being a little dark out and Bucky has to go slower than he likes. He doesn't really say much until they're in the garage, and he kills the engine, and the garage door is rolling down slowly behind them. Yes, that is Bucky trying to reach over the backseat and stuffing all their snacks into his pockets. He'd probably shove the beef jerky in his pants if he thought he could get away with smuggling that into his room.
"We can try and sneak you in, if you wanna wait here for a bit. We can probably get away with it today, see what happens tomorrow. Or... I don't mind just going in and telling him. Unless you have any ideas, or you wanna do it personally."
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"Besides, you do have snacks to sneak in, I believe." There's a teasing smile that mostly hides any concern Zemo is feeling as he goes to slip out of the car. He gives a bit of a stretch before going around back to gather some of their bags.
"You can go to your room, James. I will go speak with Oeznik." And hopefully not give his dear friend a heart attack.
"... With any luck, he does not think I am an intruder." He isn't quite as helpless as he seems after all and Zemo doesn't want to be mistaken for a potential threat. Perhaps if he offers the watch first...
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"I need to set up my phone as well." With his primitive charger and making sure the SIM card is activated and all the rest of it. "I'll come down if I hear any screaming," he adds dryly as he makes his way inside, careful not to let anything fall out of his pockets. Oeznik would have heard them come home, but he's luckily busy in the kitchen so he didn't come to greet them. Bucky leaves the cat tree by the foot of the stairs and makes his way upstairs as quickly and quietly as he can, popping into his room first to empty his pockets before slipping into Zemo's to try and arrange all these clothes, and also stash a couple packets of snacks in places Oeznik hasn't raided yet.
Almost immediately he had Steve weaving between his legs trying to kill him going up the stairs, but he's hoping once he gets the tree set up, Steve will have one more thing to entertain himself with and would be less likely to attempt manslaughter.
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Zemo decides that it's best to just walk into the kitchen like nothing at all is abnormal about this, his usual confidence. It's going to give Oeznik a start, either way, but it's best to just get it over with quickly.
... And while Zemo wouldn't want any more hospital or clinic visits so soon, Bucky taking just a tiny tumble down the stairs may be a welcome distraction in a moment when Oeznik demands to know what the meaning of all of this is, what happened and Zemo will have no real answers to provide.
Another drunken mistake in Vegas? A wish gone very, very wrong? It's impossible to tell, really.
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He takes in a deep breath once his new phone stops vibrating - not because the messages have stopped but because the mailbox and the voicemail box is full - and he thinks to just delete everything. Unfortunately he makes the mistake of reading one from Sam, and it only gets worse from there.
Mostly it's all along the lines of 'Bucky, listen to me, Zemo is not your friend' and his therapist has chimed in also to try and point out all the ways Zemo is gaslighting him, how giving up his own thoughts and desires is a fantasy he shouldn't be indulging in, he doesn't have to 'live this way' - whatever that means - and how he has to overcome the difficult challenge of breaking out of an abusive, controlling relationship.
It's all very well-intentioned, ever so slightly patronising, and leaving him feeling like the only person who actually cares about what he wants is downstairs trying to explain his Current Predicament to his butler.
He should be going downstairs trying to make sure Oeznik doesn't have an aneurysm and Zemo is okay, but he's just sitting on the edge of the bed mindlessly scrolling and deleting words of concern dejectedly while his eyes glaze over everybody's worries and opinions. He might head downstairs if he hears any raised voices though.
But so far, judging from the lack of commotion, it seems like Oeznik is taking it better than 'THE FLOOR IS HOT!' maybe?
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At least it doesn't take much to convince Oeznik it is indeed him. They've had a lifetime together and there are things only Zemo would know -- and fortunately, he must still look similar enough. He isn't treated as an intruder, and that's something, isn't it?
Of course there's some blame thrown at that Vegas trip, on Zemo being reckless and irresponsible that has him feeling like a teenager caught in mischief all over again. There's some frustration over Bucky clearly not watching over him as well as he'd thought, on top of the marriage and everything else that followed. It seems even Oeznik has his boiling point.
And then comes Zemo explaining they may have to leave again to-- fix this, meet with some of Bucky's acquaintances, deal in magic, unless he magically changes back or he accepts his very strange fate. He seems to have some reservations about getting too close to the remaining Avengers, most of all one of the ones Zemo put in The Raft himself. But what else can be done? Oeznik ultimately agrees in the end.
It doesn't seem as if the watch and the gifts, though appreciated, are enough to entirely soothe the old man's concern or irritation or provide a proper distraction, but he collects himself as much as he can, even manages a remark or two about having a lady of the house again.
The boardshorts go over as well as they both expected, confusion and a huff before Zemo insists that Oeznik needs to relax more, take it a bit easier. They are settled after all, and Oeznik has done enough to deserve it. The remark that it's impossible to take it easy when Zemo keeps bringing home more and more messes has the baron looking properly sullen by the time he goes back upstairs.
He tilts his head when he sees the other sat on the edge of the bed with that look on his face, scrolling through his new phone. Of course there would not be good news up here.
He sighs and moves to sit on the edge of the bed next to Bucky, casually toeing off his shoes. "Oeznik did not die of shock at the very least, and he is still preparing dinner if you're hungry."
Now, wouldn't that have been a perfectly depressing evening if his old friend had fallen over from a heart attack?
"Are you okay, James?"
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"I'm good. Just-- got flooded with texts from Sam." Bucky snaps his phone shut with one hand and puts it on top of the bedside drawer, leaving it to charge.
"I think it's safe to say, everyone knows we got married." In Vegas, no less, and while apparently those marriages don't count, they seem to all be taking it very seriously.
"Are you hungry?" Bucky asks softly, turning a bit more to face Zemo, pulling more than half of one folded leg up onto the bed. He'd rather talk about what they're going to do with the rest of their day than talk about what other people think about their marriage.
"Dinner might be nice. And a shower." He still feels like he's in that just-had-sex state and needing a bit of a cleanup. But he probably won't put too much effort into it because they're going to slink into the hot tub anyway.
"Don't worry about Oeznik," Bucky tries to reassure Zemo even though he has no idea what's wrong. "He'll come around."
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"Am I the dastardly villain, manipulating and controlling you?" It isn't quite a question, even if it's phrased as one. He can be rather certain they're reminding Bucky of all the little slights, all the bigger wrongs, and everything else he's been on the receiving end of when it comes to Zemo. Perhaps a little part of him wonders if Bucky is even considering any of their words of wisdom.
"Not particularly." But he did figure that Bucky just may be. "But a shower is a good idea. It will be quicker together."
... Provided they keep their hands to themselves, but Zemo doesn't see that being a particular problem at the moment, not when they've both got plenty to occupy their thoughts.
There's a wry smile at the reassurance. "I would say the same for Sam, but I think we both know better than that by now. I don't think he will be letting go of the fact that I put him in the Raft any time soon."
Zemo is already pushing himself up and starting to discard clothes. It's perhaps a little more awkward now that they're not wound up in the backseat of a car, but-- Bucky has already been as intimately close as possible. "Follow me, James. I will get the shower started... I may even let you under the water first."
Although it isn't very likely.
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"No, it's fine. He thinks I'm crazy. Crazier than usual." Forcing a smile, Bucky tries to dismiss Zemo's concern as though everything's okay, as though nobody's out for his blood, as though his phone isn't full of reminders of the things Zemo has done to him and the things he should be wanting to do to Zemo.
Bucky has spent more time feeling alone in the world than he has with company, so the censure doesn't bother him so much. But it's not always easy, when he's lived that life being a good boy doing what everyone around him tells him tto People who are closest to him have been trying to train him out of that, but now that he wants something for himself, he's struggling to find acceptance and approval.
"You never let me under the water first," Bucky points out as he shoves Zemo's discarded clothes to one side. He doesn't mind of course, but usually Zemo makes a point of stealing all the warmth from him and messing him up before getting him cleaned up.
He's a little more comfortable going to the bathroom with Zemo this time, starting to shed his clothes only once Zemo's in the shower and got the hot water started. Zemo's been fairly tame in the shower since Bucky hurt his hand but there's no guarantee he would stay that way.
"I don't think it's ever bothered you anyway. What anyone else thinks, about anything." Let them not start dwelling on that. Definitely not today.
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