experienceandpatience

Zemo is about to point out that a joint shower isn't especially an invitation to touch, or maybe he's contemplating cutting off this conversation entirely. It's not appropriate, in the middle of a store where people can overhear and Zemo isn't one to wear his feelings on his sleeves in any real way. At least not the ones that leave him feeling exposed and vulnerable, or weak in any sense of the word.

But Bucky seems sincere, and he seems bothered. It isn't a surprise -- he woke up entirely remade into a weapon, changed in ways that had to have been like living through a horror. Zemo can't say this hurt him at all, but someone out there still did this to him, still changed him in invasive ways.

Logically, you can always understand how awful it must be to have that happen. But to actually understand it on some level, to have experienced it? Maybe Zemo is getting more of an understanding than just reading a book or looking through files can give.

"I'm... not certain if I've shown my appreciation properly today," he admits after a moment. He's been stressed and torn between finding a solution out there somewhere and hoping any moment, he'll wake up properly and he'll be back to normal, and not knowing how to find a solution at all. Not knowing why this happened or how isn't helping either, Bucky is right.

This isn't the place to have this conversation, but it is happening. So all Zemo can do is tuck himself in a little closer to Bucky, bring up a hand to brush over the side of his face carefully as he lowers his voice. "I'm not happy with any of this either, but-- if we must call your contacts, then we'll need to leave Wyoming again. They may not want trouble, but I would rather them not know where we truly are all the same. I may have to tolerate being like this for a while if that's the case. That is why I want to pick up more than a days' worth of clothing."

He pauses before meeting Bucky's eyes. "Even when I've been returned to prison, that home is yours for as long as you wish it, so I would rather keep it safe."

A shrug before he tries to lighten the mood-- "As for touching... you are the only one who could succeed right now, but we will see how the night goes for that."

Yeah, maybe JCPenney's lingerie section is not the place to be airing your outrage in a semi-outside voice. They should have gone to Walmart. That's where everyone talks about everything in any aisle and no one would care about their conversation. It'd probably be the tamest one there.

"You're not going back," Bucky insists adamantly. He's grown maybe a little too attached now, long before they got married. It was what Zemo had wanted, after all, and he got Bucky to hand over the keys willingly and without protest. Them getting caught is just going to be another kind of conditioning, somebody coming in to wean Bucky off someone who actually cares about him and control who he spends his time with, doing what, where, and when. He's had quite enough of that already.

"Alright. Fine. We'll take a long drive. Call them from some motel room two states over." He'll figure it out. He has to. He likes Wyoming, even if it's new and improved in ways he's still getting used to, but he doesn't want to be alone in that big farmhouse.

Bucky is fine talking about genocide and prison and magic and experimentations in the department store floor, but as soon as things get lightly flirtatious he gets flustered again. He saw some of the underwear Zemo put in that bag. It's just as well they're out or he'll be blushing all day.

"Shouldn't you be less horny as a woman?" Isn't it a testosterone thing? Why is Zemo always horny? He gives Zemo a nudge towards the clothes section, where they can pick up some shirts... or blouses... and pants or leggings or dresses or skirts or... There is a whole floor of clothes.

"I will one day, James." Not to be cruel or dismissive, but they can't run forever. It's not realistic to think that one day, Wakanda won't catch up and demand their justice, however they choose to take it. But they can delay it for as long as possible, surely. He finds himself worrying more and more that Bucky will be fine when that day does come though, that he won't backslide into something he won't want to be.

But that's a worry for another day. "That's all I ask."

For another state, somewhere far away. He smiles in satisfaction, even if it's a bit short lived. It's followed by a roll of his eyes as he leads them over to choose some clothes. "Oh, James... that is certainly old fashioned."

And it's hardly like he is dragging Bucky off to a dressing room or suggesting a quickie in the back of the car. He's not quite that horny. "If we're going by that, then you should be far more interested." 'Interested'. Horny will likely get them dirty looks from some of the older ladies shopping the sales rack not far from them.

Slacks and blouses and sweaters -- a dress for their dinner tonight. It isn't quite what he'd normally wear on a date, but these aren't normal circumstances... and a suit may not be quite the look he wants.

He's been fine since he tumbled into that ravine. It won't bother him at all to have people come into his life again and tell him how to live it. He's perfectly fine right now, clearly, not fallen into a kind of silence that's masking the unhappiness and the uncertainty about what's coming next.

"Well you know. You get to a hundred years old, nothing works anymore and you just want to be left alone," he says quietly, the half-hearted attempt at a joke sounding a little deflated.

"Maybe-- if you stay like this, they won't find you." Sure, one look at Zemo in the flesh and it's obviously him, and a few tests would confirm it, but he could easily fool all the security cameras like this, and that's what everyone's heavily reliant on these days.

The joke gets a quiet snort from Zemo as he looks through clothes, plucking out a few things as he goes. He hasn't forgotten about the swimsuits either -- for any of them, Oeznik included.

"Possibly," he agrees after a moment's hesitation. He wonders if that's Bucky making some subtle request or just pointing out the obvious.

"No one would be looking for, nor expecting a woman. If we kept our heads down, it's quite possible they would think you ran off to settle down. Quite normal, isn't it? And surely no one would say you don't deserve that sort of break after everything... Of course, I would want a new ring. This is clearly a man's."

He turns his attention to Bucky briefly. "We have today, at least... to do as we like and to act however we want without worry of who may recognize us. I think it's best to put that talk off until tomorrow, James."

"A new ring?" Bucky perks up a bit. "I thought you wanted a divorce..." It sounds a little ugly putting it that way, but that's what undoing their marriage would entail.

Also, he didn't know rings were gendered, so there's that. Their bands look almost the same so, sure, he won't question it if theirs are supposed to be a man's ring.

He takes a few hangers from Zemo so he can free up his hands to browse more things.

"Sure. Anything you want, honey," he jokes a little more animatedly, a teasing little smile tugging on the corners of his lips. Once Bucky is over this transformation, Zemo will never hear the end of it.

"...what's the point of a sleeveless turtleneck?" Zemo might need to drag him to stand guard by the changing room if he doesn't want to be inundated by a dozen questions.

It had mostly been a joke, the ring thing, but he does give a look at the comment that's certain to get them a few looks. "You seemed to want one. And you were very offended at the idea of a honeymoon..."

Not that Oeznik's prank hadn't left them both a bit disgruntled. But a divorce isn't very high on the priority list, particularly at the moment.

There's a huff at that honey, but Zemo can't quite keep the amusement off his face now that Bucky seems to be in the mood to joke and tease again, and not thinking about when Zemo may be back in a cell again. Much better for the both of them, really.

"It's-- just how it's made." How is he supposed to know the why exactly? It's for the look. He shakes his head and reaches back to tug Bucky along.

"I need to try some of this on. You wait here." Bucky is just going to get the full husband experience of waiting while his wife tries on multiple outfits, then.

"Then we will go get your swimsuits. We'll be done then... which is good. I'm more than ready for lunch."

"I don't." He didn't-- originally want to get married. But now that they are, he doesn't particularly want to renounce anything, even if they never really had something like this.

Besides, he's not terrible at playing husband, standing near the entrance of the changing room holding onto a bag of Zemo's purchases. He knows he can probably get away with letting his guard down, but he's still checking out anyone that walks past, still keeping an eye on the entrances and exits.

It was a nice honeymoon, all things considered. And Oeznik probably had Bucky's sanity in mind rather than Zemo's potentially getting antsy about the isolation, which... it's not that he feels Oeznik has never cared about him, but it's odd to have his preferences catered to. Even if Oeznik might have been punishing Zemo a bit for his uncharacteristic recklessness.

"How are they?" he asks when his head snaps over his shoulder at the sound of unusually quieter footsteps and Zemo emerges from around the corner.

There's a bit of a smile at that insistence. They should, really. If this doesn't last, or they track down one of Bucky's contacts to fix this predicament... well, people are going to think Bucky is certifiable, marrying Zemo of all people. But Zemo isn't feeling particularly inclined towards it, now that he's had time to cool off.

And maybe the time out in isolation did give him time to think, even if it equally drove him insane. Bucky had enjoyed it though, and Zemo hadn't had any embarrassing bouts of anxiety when the walls felt like they were a bit too close to closing in.

It certainly prevented Zemo giving into the irrational urge to disappear for a bit -- something in retrospect seems like it would have harmed Bucky far more than he'd have truly liked.

"Why don't you tell me, James?" Because even Zemo may be feeling a bit... awkward, actually. He isn't prone to shame or embarrassment, but this is all very overwhelming territory. Not quite like surprising his wife with a new item for her collection after being away for just shy of too long or accompanying her on shopping trips.

People are going to think that Bucky is certifiable either way. They shouldn't drag Zemo or anything else into it.

"It's nice," Bucky offers unhelpfully, the way husbands are okay with anything wives could have emerged from the changing room wearing. "You look like... you. Just different." But the same. Does that even make sense? It made sense in Bucky's head.

"Are you comfortable?" Zemo's always got so many layers on, and he wears fancy stuff that Bucky wouldn't think is comfortable. But Oeznik thinks Bucky is sloppy, so he's probably not even one to talk.

There's a brief, skeptical look at Bucky's reassurance before he nods acceptingly. Surely if he looked ridiculous, then Bucky would tell him. "I'm fine."

It's-- different, but he'll feel better once he has his coat -- or a new coat. If he really wants to blend in and not stand out. Either way, he takes a step towards Bucky and makes a motion with his hand. "Why don't you go find your swimsuit? I will join you in just a moment."

"Okay." Is Zemo not going to pick something awfully skimpy and revealing out for him? Well, he shouldn't be encouraging that anyway... Bucky's just going to pick out a simple black pair of trunks that don't seem much different from his usual 'walking around the house in boxer briefs for as long as he can manage without Oeznik catching him' attire.

And, because he likes to make Oeznik's eye twitch, respectable monochrome boardshorts for the old man with one hibiscus printed on the one side. Not quite Hawaiian, but not quite so boring either.

Everyone's got to start somewhere. They thought they'd never be able to get Bucky to ~~unclench~~ unwind and look where he is now.

He can be polite and let Bucky choose something within his comfort level -- Bucky didn't shove skimpy, revealing things at him while they were shopping for his clothes, so he can extend the same consideration.

And once Zemo has picked up a few other items, collected himself as much as possible, he goes in search of Bucky, giving a bit of a smile when he spots him. "There you are. Come on, let's go pay. I'm not sure about you, but I'm starving and we need to decide where we will have lunch."

A pause. "I decided on dinner already. A nice steakhouse... it seems quiet, private."

And it should have something they'll both enjoy. Perfect spot for a date when their options aren't terribly grand.

"These trunks are the nicest thing I'll have, other than the suit," Bucky comments. Which probably means he's replacing too many of his old clothes with offerings from Walmart. Zemo can slowly wean him off that habit, but he might need to start with fancier t-shirts made of better material before trying to make any drastic changes to Bucky's wardrobe.

"I think we passed an Italian place." Much as he doesn't mind fast food or Chinese takeaway, those aren't really the kinds of places he imagines Zemo would want to go on a lunch date at. Bucky puts those two pieces of swimwear into the bag and brings them over to the counter. He likes Wyoming for its lack of crowds, and it doesn't take them long at all to ring up a few bags of clothes that Zemo could even start using if he's really uncomfortable with how he's dressed now.

"The kind that doesn't serve mac and cheese." Because that's not real Italian. Look, Bucky does pay attention to these things when Zemo goes off on one of his rants about how the 0.01%ers live.

"Then what you're saying is we need to buy you more nicer things." Don't tempt him, Bucky, or there will be a closet full of finer clothes... or at least finer t-shirts and jeans.

Zemo does at least grab some of the bags they're leaving with, giving a nod at the mention of Italian. Sounds nice, even if he may not have fussed if all Bucky wanted was quick fast food in the car... sometimes, those aren't so bad when it's accompanied by quiet talking.

"Ah, well... I guess that means we need to expand your horizons. Unfortunate, I know." Mac and cheese from a box is an atrocity, honestly. How Bucky seems to often live on it is beyond Zemo's understanding at times, other than Bucky seems willing to put anything in his mouth that's not poisonous.

And that's up for debate.

Since it's Bucky who spotted the Italian place, Zemo moves to slide back into the passenger side to let him navigate the way once they're all squared away.

"I have enough nice things. My shirts have no holes and my boxer briefs still fit." That's what Zemo means by 'nicer things', right? Surely that's enough for anyone.

"And I eat things other than mac and cheese." Oeznik has been broadening his horizon just fine without Zemo's intervention. But that's a two-way street where Oeznik is also being introduced to the horrors of pop tarts and frozen dinners. So far they've both managed to survive their respective culinary adventures.

"I don't know what's wrong with mac and cheese. It's the best." It's cheap, and all you have to do is open the cardboard box, poke the plastic sheet cover full of holes, throw it in a microwave for 5 minutes and the meal is sorted. All you have to wash afterwards is a fork.

He doesn't bother arranging the shopping into a neat side of the boot, since they're just going to slide around in the car until they fill up the back with more stuff - and he's pretty sure Zemo's going to get more stuff, either coming back here or somewhere else - so he just leaves the bags standing upright as he climbs back into the driver's seat and heads back to the Italian restaurant.

It is a proper place, not American staples passing for an Italian restaurant like an Olive Garden, but it's a blink-and-you'll-miss-it signboard and a chalkboard menu out on the footpath sandwiched between a row of shops; you'd have to wonder how Bucky managed to spot it while driving. It is thankfully not a fancy place even if it is a little quieter, and they get shown to a table right next to the window and left alone to browse the menu even though Bucky seems distracted by what's happening outside the window, by what's happening across the dining table and what's happening past those swinging doors into the kitchen, looking basically everywhere except for the menu. The wall is lined with an impressive number of wine bottles and there's multiple forks and knives on the table, a sure sign that this is the kind of place Oeznik would approve of.

"Am I allowed to order pizza?" He's pretty sure the answer is no, but it's worth asking anyway...

It seems Sam isn't the only one who is an affront to fashion everywhere. Zemo wrinkles his nose briefly, but decides against arguing. Better to simply replace the items slowly before Bucky can think to properly protest it.

"It's hardly food, James." And maybe Zemo isn't one to talk really -- he was happily eating what food remained in Latvia after all. But he'll eventually put aside his judgement over mac and cheese once they get to the restaurant and seated at a table.

There's a shake of his head at the question, lips curling into a wry smile as he reads over the menu, trying to decide what it is he wants. "You know, James, that is a question my son would always ask."

He looks up over the menu at Bucky, his smile turning a little more teasing. "I would always tell him to at least try one new thing, and if he didn't like it, then he could have the pizza."

The correct answer is that he's not a kid, and definitely not Zemo's kid. It shouldn't involve him licking his upper lip as he scans the menu somewhat nervously for something different, but not too out there. In the end he settles for some kind of stuffed rice ball thing and some kind of squid ink pasta - holds himself back from asking how exactly squid ink is squeezed out of squids - and casts a furtive glance at Zemo to see if it's 'out there' enough before handing the menu over.

He could probably put away a whole pizza by himself on top of that, but he's apparently exercising some self-restraint today.

"You and Oeznik are making me try plenty of new things." It's usually hit or miss, most of those new things have been difficult for him to like, but he can't say that they've always been terrible. Honestly he'd rather suck it up and try something new than have his favourites get swatted out of his mouth - yes, Oeznik's been trying to wean him off biting everything too, to a limited degree of success.

Well, if he's going to act like a kid, then Zemo can't help but point it out...

Although he is rather surprised that Bucky listened -- and went for one of the more unusual pastas on the menu. Impressive, really. Maybe he is opening up to new experiences more.

"That's not a bad thing, is it? You've gotten plenty of experiences you wouldn't have otherwise." He pauses, looking down at himself briefly, at the ring next--

"And so have I, recently."

Plenty of adults eat pizza. He and Steve went out for pizzas before and they're over 200 years old between them. Just because he still feels a little weird about mooching off the baron doesn't mean he's acting like a kid. What the hell?

"There's been a few nice things." Although he's not thinking about their marriage and now having a wife instead of a husband right now. He does notice the way Zemo's looking at himself though.

"This doesn't have to be a bad thing either. Even if it's not-- a good thing, objectively. How are you feeling right now?"

Plenty of adults eat pizza, but not all adults choose pizza and mac and cheese over everything else. The mooching-- well, Zemo doesn't particularly see it like that. If he didn't want to give it, he wouldn't. He just happens to enjoy spoiling Bucky on occasion, and he's certainly got the means to do so with very little else to do with it.

"I should hope so." Otherwise, he's done something very wrong along the way if nothing has been nice at all. The question has him pausing thoughtfully. How does he feel right now?

"I'm enjoying myself. So I suppose I can't complain much."

"That's good." Resting his chin against his loose fist, he studies Zemo from across the table and flashes him a somewhat relaxed, wide smile. They haven't really been able to just go out like this and-- well, Bucky's always going to be checking over his shoulder and looking around, and he suspects Zemo will too. You can't ever shake that kind of paranoia off once you start living this kind of life. But they don't have to be on high alert all the time and just enjoy each other's company almost as much as they can do from the safety and privacy of their secret home. This really is the best they can hope for.

"Is it the clothes shopping or the hiding in plain sight or...?" Look at Bucky go, making slightly-larger-than-small talk without being prompted to. He tried to stay positive, he drove today, he's even taking the initiative - someone buy a lottery ticket.

It's the smile on Bucky's face. It's not one he gives often at all, let alone in public where they're both always at least a bit on edge. That's something that promises to never go away -- even if Zemo were to stay like this and live out the rest of his life in relative anonymity. But right now -- maybe they can make an exception and just relax for right now, enjoy their lunch.

It feels deserved.

"It is nice to not wonder if there are Wakandans lurking nearby or upstanding citizens who may recognize the war criminal and call it in." He leans his elbows against the table lightly, leaning forward just a bit closer to Bucky.

"But mostly, it's the company." Rocky morning aside, Bucky has indulged him all day. It may not be the smartest move, spoiling Zemo, but it's been very appreciated all things considered.

Bucky would be the last person to advocate for lowering their guard, but so far, their stay in Wyoming has been fairly uneventful. Everyone he's encountered may be friendly in a distant way, but they seem wont to keep to themselves for the most part, engaged in some silent, mutual understanding of you minding your own business and them minding theirs.

This is just going to lead to Zemo accusing Bucky of treating him differently when he was his wife than when he's in his usual body, but for better or worse, Bucky is as oblivious as ever and doesn't see that argument coming. He doesn't think it's true at all, but he's not the one that this has happened to, and he can't truthfully argue that there aren't any deeply entrenched gendered notions etched into his head, the way and the time period he was brought up in.

Still, he doesn't think there's anything wrong about being concerned about Zemo, and showing it in such an overt way.

"Well you've had the same company for a while now..." Bucky points out. Sure, it wouldn't hurt either of them to make new friends. But neither of them seem particularly inclined to expand their circle of trust.

There probably will be arguments later when things are back to the way they're supposed to be. But Zemo isn't quite bristling as much as earlier at the shows of concern or the way Bucky is treating him. He had a point after all -- there's no reason this should be a bad time when there are certain advantages to it for the moment.

Other issues can wait until later to be sorted out.

"Company I must generally enjoy or I wouldn't have been inclined towards rings at all." There's a soft laugh. It may not be a proper marriage, or one planned for, but-- it hasn't been terrible so far either.

And it's easier, keeping to themselves anyway. Safer.

At least it is for Zemo, if he doesn't want to slip up, go back to a prison cell. Bucky-- perhaps he could benefit from a wider social circle. Maybe Zemo is selfish in not quite encouraging it.

"How do you feel? Your mood seems better than this morning... I can't imagine it's the shopping that did it."

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