experienceandpatience

"That wasn't a very amusing part." Except for when Bucky unceremoniously fell out of bed, perhaps, but even that was brought down by the reopened wound. Easier to think of that than their current state of affairs, really.

"I am glad you enjoyed it, James." And he does mean that. He hadn't even minded the isolation for a bit, the chance to get away and think a bit clearer.

He pauses at the reaction he gets at the suggestion. There's a part of him that's momentarily irritated -- he's not so fragile, and there's nothing so... strange about this. Aside from the parts that are decidedly strange. New curves and parts to get used to. He huffs a little bit before pushing himself up to go towards the bathroom.

"It isn't as if you didn't see quite an eyeful this morning, but... very well, James. Alone, then." A quick shower and then... they'll figure out the rest of the day.

If the government wasn't so adamant on keeping tabs on him he would have happily retreated alone to a mountain range somewhere, building a cabin to live in, and just live out the rest of his days on his own. He's too guilt-ridden to try and break free off on his own and actually do that, but the Alps was more or less a brief manifestation of that fantasy. And, maybe, Bucky's found that he prefers having company than being alone - as long as it's ~~not Sam~~ a certain type of company.

"You had your--... things out," Bucky protests quietly. They were just there. He didn't go looking or tear any clothes off or-- well, hey, what the hell does that mean, anyway?

"I wasn't perving on you!" he snaps a little bit louder than he'd probably intended to.

"Breasts, not things," Zemo calls back. It's-- possibly easier to fall back on needling Bucky than dealing with-- his own feelings on this. They're too far all over the place to begin that.

He peeks his head back out of the bathroom, eyebrow arching at the insistence. His eyes did seem to linger a bit longer than they should have -- until Zemo demanded he look away. He'd maybe beg to differ there was no perving, but-- "I never suggested you did, did I?"

And more curiously-- "Do I look that strange as a woman?"

"I know what they're called," he hisses back, shoulders rising instinctively even though they must sound like twelve year olds right now with this back and forth.

"You don't look strange. Just-- different. You sound different. I'm just-- getting used to it." They already know Bucky doesn't like change. A combination of being old and stubborn and... mildly paranoid and what Sam would have called 'boring' and Bucky would have called 'set in his ways' had seen to that.

Give him a few days and he'll be fine with the house, the new Zemo, if that's getting stuck. Hopefully not. He'd like for one thing to remain the same. If tomorrow Oeznik comes padding over briskly screeching about his new body, Bucky might just walk out into the snow through the clearing and into the sparse smattering of trees and not come back for the rest of the day.

There's a roll of his eyes at the protest. Bucky was the one acting as if saying breasts may burn his tongue or something.

"You are not the only one, James." Everything-- is rather different this morning, isn't it? Bucky is unhappy with the house, uncomfortable with him seemingly, and his body is entirely changed for unknown reasons. There's a bit of a deflated sigh after a moment before Zemo ducks back inside to start the shower and... start taking off clothes.

It's odd to look down, and uncomfortable to touch his own body and not really feel much familiarity at all. But hopefully they-- find a way to fix this, or it wears off, or-- something that doesn't quite end with law enforcement pounding at their door now that they've settled in somewhere.

And went through the trouble of a remodel.

At least he will make it a quick enough shower to avoid using up all the hot water for Bucky.

Bucky busies himself stacking the empty plates and cups together and bringing the tray back downstairs. Oeznik won't let him leave without making him sit at the counter and eat at least a whole slice of toast. Bucky does his best to just casually mention that Zemo wants to head into town - get that broken phone sorted and buy a few other things - and they might be a few hours. It's easier to not tell the whole truth to Oeznik when Steve is perched in Bucky's lap and he's half-distracted, and Oeznik doesn't question it, simply nodding and agreeing to babysit Steve for one more full day.

By the time Bucky gets back upstairs, Zemo is already done. Bucky can't help but look at Zemo's lithe figure wrapped in a towel, standing in front of the wardrobe looking for something suitable to wear. There are curves in... interesting places. Long hair. It's all so different even if there's little hallmarks of familiarity here and there.

"Got something you can wear?" he asks quietly. He'd offer Zemo his wardrobe, but it's significantly emptier. Just monochrome, plain t-shirts and that suit. It's probably not as varied, and too cold right now to be wearing most of it.

There's a shrug at the question. None of his clothes seem like they will fit overly well, but he finds a pair of track pants that seem like they will stretch where they need to and a shirt to go with them. "Somewhat, I think. It will work until we find clothes in town."

... which will likely be at Walmart, won't it? There's a bit of a sigh before he moves to lie the clothes on the edge of the bed to dress, discarding his towel. "Is there anything else you need to do in town?"

It's easier to talk about the mundane than the obvious right now.

He's not sure if Zemo's ever worn anything from Walmart. Maybe the thought of it alone might turn him into a nudist. They'll probably be able to find something slightly better than Walmart, although it won't be some designer Italian fare either...

"Just need a phone, at some point." Honestly, it wouldn't bother him at all if they didn't replace it. But he did tell Oeznik they were going to buy one - and Walmart is likely going to be one of the only places that still sells phones Bucky likes, with clicky buttons and a battery life of a week or so.

"And we'll get whatever you want for dinner. Lunch too. I told Oeznik we might be headed out for the day." Maybe some eating and mindless clothes shopping will help take Zemo's mind off his current predicament.

Not that he believes it to be all that bad. Being able to pass through anywhere unrecognised is a really significant silver lining to him. They should be taking advantage of it as much as they can.

"We will replace it." He'd press for something more modern, but he has a feeling one more change and Bucky may have an even bigger breakdown than this morning. He can keep his ridiculous, ancient phone. He is rather certain Walmart will have a few of them. After he's slipped into his clothes, eyed his closet warily for shoes -- maybe there are some sneakers in there somewhere that he may still be able to tie up tight enough to wear, even if they may be a bit too big now.

"Anything I want?" There's a spark of amusement at that. "You must be worried."

That's certainly a level of spoiling he wasn't expecting, not even a warning about not choosing anything strange or a token protest in sight. Turning on his heel, he approaches Bucky with a softer smile though. "I suppose now is as good a time as any to indulge a bit. We won't have to worry too much about being spotted, I think."

There's a shake of his head. "I suppose if any of your friends do spot and come after you, they will only see you've run off with a girlfriend and not a regicidal terrorist."

"Well. You might not be able to go out again tomorrow." Bucky gives him a small shrug. "If you're going to actually truly be free for a day, you should make the most of it." Which includes going to all the restaurants Zemo wants to hit up, slim pickings though they are around here, and ordering all the weird stuff he might want to try.

"I mean... Technically you're my wife," Bucky points out quietly, not at all an assertive husband. Wives do get to pick the lunch and dinner places and do whatever they like on the one day they can freely go to town.

"I'm gonna have a quick shower, and then we can go." And he won't be using that much hot water himself... he probably should give himself a cold shower just in case his other head starts getting wild ideas about Mrs. Barnes.

"Yes, wife." Which is a rather strange thing to say and agree with, but Zemo can't say his mood isn't picking up a bit at the idea of being truly free for even a day. No looking over his shoulder or worrying when police or Wakandans will show up.

And while there may be limited choices in town for food, it will be nice to go out and share something else with James. He hadn't quite realized how much he would enjoy the other man's company when they initially ended up together. Even with all the withering glares and grouching, it's interesting to see how Bucky reacts to the world around him, new experiences and all.

"Okay," he agrees -- and on second thought, leans up to press a quick, appreciative kiss to Bucky's lips. Not more than a quick, chaste brush when Bucky doesn't seem particularly comfortable with-- this current change at the moment. Or any of the changes around him.

But while Bucky cleans up, he can certainly finish getting ready -- and get Bucky some clothes ready to go.

Bucky pads into the bathroom quietly, and turns the water to a slightly cooler setting before fumbling around with the plastic sheets to keep the dressing on his hand dry. It's a little annoying having to shower with his hand out of commission, but he'd rather spend these extra few minutes bagging and taping than have to get fussed over by the Sokovians or give himself an infection that can't easily be treated, and he's used to doing everything with one hand anyway even if it's usually the hand that's currently injured.

It takes him a couple minutes longer than usual, but he's insistent on doing everything himself, so he emerges still a little damp after binning the plastic and putting in a half-assed effort drying himself off. Of course Zemo's already picked out something that's a small step up from t-shirt and jeans. Bucky might be stubborn but at least he doesn't fight and has a seemingly unending amount of patience when Zemo wants to dress him up like a Ken doll.

"Are we going to the nicest barn?" he teases as he gets dressed with the towel still flopped on top of his head. There must be a dozen things Zemo wants to do for his first time being truly free to spend a few hours out in the open, so Bucky won't dally too long.

"Only the nicest." And while he'll give Bucky space to prevent any further freak outs, it hardly feels inappropriate to step up behind him to scrub that towel over his hair a bit before pulling it away.

"After clothes, of course. If I am to be Mrs. Barnes, then I suppose I should look the part." Wear something nice. He isn't entirely clueless about women's clothes -- he did have a wife at one point.

"Perhaps you can help me choose a swimsuit for the hot tub later." And with any luck, Oeznik won't get the wrong idea about Bucky in there with a mysterious brunette.

"What're you thinking of buying?" Nothing against Zemo wanting to play dress up if he's going to go all in with 'Mrs. Barnes'. But what if this... their current predicament only lasts a day? What's he going to do if he gets a massive haul?

"Other than a swimsuit." Zemo can probably figure out the best one based on which one makes Bucky blush the most, which is likely to be the most revealing outfit.

"You're quite-- pretty even without clothes. I mean, nice clothes. I mean, you don't have to buy anything if you just wanna lounge around, like this..."

An outfit or two will hardly harm anything in the long run - if this lasts longer, he can worry about adding to things then. And explaining to Oeznik what is happening. "Something for the day, something for the evening... We will see from there tomorrow."

The insistence has Zemo pausing, tilting his head as Bucky seems to dig himself deeper. It's amusing at least, and a bit flattering. For all the complaints this morning, at least Bucky does seem to find him attractive, even like-- this. It shouldn't be... relieving, but it is, in a way. "I need at least shoes, James..."

The ones he owns now are a bit... big. "But possibly, I can be convinced to lounge in less later, if you would like."

Strange as that may be.

"O-of course. We can do shoes first." It seems unsafe to be walking around in ill-fitting shoes, especially if it's icy or snowy outside. "I'll bring a bag to bring back what you're wearing." Having Bucky standing around Hovering should hopefully keep all the assistants at bay so Zemo can take his time.

"No, it's fine. It's too cold for that." Unless Zemo means sitting around in his turtleneck and flannel pants. Or, you know, trying out the hot tub. But that might give Zemo swimsuit ideas so Bucky isn't mentioning it.

"Let's go, if you're ready. I'll drive. You can't in those shoes." Before Zemo thinks Bucky is 'being weird about it' again.

Oh, he's definitely being weird again. Weird about a lot of things. No fun at all, stammering his way away from some harmless flirtation. But Zemo just gives a gracious nod and starts out.

He'd rather drive, if he's honest, but it may be for the best if Bucky does it. Gives him elsewhere to focus his thoughts after their rather... shaky morning. So that means avoiding Oeznik's curious gaze as he maneuvers his way out, and into the passenger seat of their waiting car.

He settles in comfortably, eyes focused out the passenger window. "At least let us see if there is another place to get clothes than Wal-Mart."

They won't be his usual quality, no matter what, but he'd rather have at least some choice.

"...it's Wyoming." Which is not to say that there isn't, but he's just trying to manage Zemo's expectations. There's going to be a lot of flannel and Wranglers jeans even if they head to one of only three malls. Maybe they'll end up walking through all of them before the day is done.

Bucky rarely drives, but when he does, usually he waits until the car and the baron are warmed up enough before taking off. Not today though, in case Oeznik decides to follow after them.

"There's a JCPenney in a couple of the malls." That's better than Walmart, right? Bucky glances over at Zemo, who seems to have taken more of an interest in what's going on outside the window than wallow in the awkwardness that has settled between them.

"Hey." Bucky swallows and reaches over, hesitantly tucks a bit of hair behind Zemo's ear. "It's gonna be fine." Zemo's reflection looks a little pensive, even if he isn't necessarily worried. Bucky is definitely worried, but. When is he not?

"There are still places other than Walmart," Zemo insists. It may end in jeans and flannel still, but they can try. Even if he does wrinkle his nose a bit at the next suggestion. It is... slightly better though. They do have a section for 'nicer' clothes. Maybe.

But before he can say anything one way or another, there's a hand through his hair and Bucky being-- strange again. Slightly strange. "Of course."

'Fine'. He's still not thrilled at the idea of calling any of Bucky's acquaintances if this doesn't fix itself. He's also not entirely ready to accept staying like this forever as the alternative either. "And if I am stuck like this?"

Look, if Zemo wants to get Hot Topic fishnets to sate his midlife crisis, Bucky isn't going to stop him either. But JCPenney is one of few brands older than he is and he's fairly sure they're quite reliable when it comes to decent clothes.

"Then you're free to go anywhere you like, do anything you want with anyone, and-- you'll want to buy more shoes." At that point there's not really a question of whether Zemo likes it. He has to get used to it regardless. But he'll still have a butler, a spouse, and a cat. The same old house - or the new and improved version of the same old house, at least. Nothing else will change.

"Anyway, it won't come to that. We'll find a way to fix this - after you've done everything you've been wanting to do since you got out."

He'll take something a little more classic, thank you... although Bucky may appreciate fishnets more.

"You're very optimistic today, James." He shifts a little bit to turn to face Bucky more properly. Done everything he's wanted to do... he's not entirely certain he's ever thought about that, not really.

"I never made many plans for something I had thought wouldn't happen, you know." So that may require some planning. Until then-- "Lunch and dinner without worry will be nice."

It's more than they've had recently. "Is there anything you've wanted to do?"

Well, one of them has to be, and usually Zemo is the optimistic one telling him to cut it out so today it'll just have to be Bucky trying his best to swap roles.

"I think I've done everything I could have wanted to do, and more things I didn't know I wanted to do in the time we've been together." From the beginning of course; he's not talking about married life. Anyway, Bucky is a simple man. He just wants to eat all the junk he can get away with eating, and for the most part be left alone.

Anyway, like he said, it's Wyoming. Even if there was something he wanted to do, they aren't likely going to be able to do it here.

"I don't have swimwear either. For the hot tub." There. That's one thing at least. Getting into the hot tub, not actually shopping for swimwear.

"It has been a rather exciting time, hasn't it? I thought the ending of it would be the unplanned wedding." But here they are, one of them in an entirely different body. That's more exciting than even waking up wed, he'd say.

"Then, we will get you something." He smiles a little more at the prospect of Bucky joining him. And then more jokingly-- "Unless you want to skip the suits entirely, of course. It is private."

It's such a strange little thing. The wedding and now this. Something like this was the life he'd been expecting to have, after the war. It was just what people did, if they survived, and he never really questioned it. They'd come home, secure a job, find a girl to (finally) settle down with, get their own place, have children. This is simultaneously the most abnormal and normal thing he's had for as long as he can remember.

Normalcy is what therapy was supposed to do for him. Instead he got Walker and Karli and Sam. But one night in Vegas and he got this. Sure, Zemo will change back soon enough, and he'll find a way to get unmarried. But right now, Bucky actually has this, and it's amusing enough to scoff and smile to himself about.

"Oeznik wouldn't want to see that." They already put the old man through so much. They can spare him all their bits hanging out. "Does he have something to wear for the hot tub?" He can't imagine Oeznik ever unwinding in a hot tub but it's there, and they're not going to be hogging it 24/7.

It's-- strange to be certain. He'd had this life once -- a spouse, a home to come back to, peace. He wasn't on this end of things, not the wife, but it's stopped being unnerving... wearing that ring on his finger. They'll have to undo the marriage, one way or another. But right now, he's feeling strangely... content.

... Aside from how wrong he feels in this body, but if Bucky can summon it in himself to be optimistic about it working out somehow, then Zemo can trust that.

Besides, Zemo is just distracted enough by that smile Bucky is giving to brush aside his own concerns. Easier to let out a soft chuckle at the question. "I am not certain I have ever seen Oeznik out of his suit. Perhaps there is just another underneath."

His butler is far too proper to be seen wearing swimwear or jumping in a hot tub. "But I suppose he does deserve the chance to relax as well. Or at least the encouragement to do so."

He shifts a little bit, enough to lean into Bucky's side as his gaze turns towards the road spreading out in front of them. "You can give him a swimsuit... I want to see his face."

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